Put the Relationship First!

Man I love horses! 

Paris has been awesome! I have made some changes to his diet and his trimming, and I have had a lot of help with my riding from Gabi. She showed me how to help Paris find balance in his canter, especially in the transitions from and into the trot. Paris has learned the half jump online but I have stopped playing with it after he hurt a leg doing it one time. I have decided that as he is not getting younger and the weather is getting colder his joints need a better warm up before ask him for things like that. So instead I have been playing with his stretching and transitions on a circle and asking him to do walk figure eights. The difference between this and the ones I did in our level one days is that I am now asking him to do it at the end of a 22 foot featherline and I am trying to not have to do anything.  We are not where I want to be yet but it is a nice gentle warm up that gets him bending nicely as his brain becomes engaged with the pattern and it helps him find calm and relaxation. He still gets excited when we do figure eights at the trot but after a while of doing the walk we can find a nice trot where he can still think of the pattern as an “8” rather than two exciting changes of direction close to each other! When I get on we do some follow the rail and clover leaf pattern with moments of me standing in the stirrups to improve my lower leg position and balance. I don’t use the reins and throw circles in on the follow the rail to keep him following my focus and especially to bring him back to a calm balanced trot. On the clover leaf I add a lot of transitions in corners, halts and forequarter yields and yoyos to have Paris follow my focus and seat rather than just running on the pattern and making assumptions.  I then pick up a light contact on the reins and use a suspension rein to ask Paris to tip his nose in the correct direction as I use the inside leg outside rein to help him find the correct bend.  We do this until he starts to stretch and bend and move forward more from behind. It’s going well and has helped tremendously in preparing him for balanced canter transitions. Once we had it going strong with the reins, I moved to doing it freestyle and using the neckstring to half halt and rebalance him. He is doing really well with it. The latest manoeuvre I have been practising with him is to have him set up in a shoulder in on the circle and when it is going well to ask for some canter and then bring him back to a walk and go straight into a shoulder in on the circle again. For the first time ever I’ve been able to get canter to walk transitions!

Riva is also going really well. We’ve also benefited from Gabi’s help. She has been very strict on making me not use my reins with Riva anymore unless I am asking for stretching. We have been very firm and clear with her to let her know what we want but really acknowledge and reward her when she does make an effort and now she’s trying her heart out, giving me way more than I would have expected and has a fantastic attitude with it! She can maintain her canter now, and I have more steering even though I’m only using my seat and the carrot stick. I want to get a video of me playing with and riding her. Unfortunately Riva is for sale and at present I can’t see that I will be able to afford to buy her. I would also love to buy Touria but as I have to pay off the externship and other debts, get a place to live and pay for a wedding my finances for the not so near future do not look “second horse friendly”. Let alone third horse! Who knows how things will pan out in the long term? But whoever does have her as their life partner will be very lucky, she is awesome! We have been making videos to put on the website to advertise all the youngsters and I feel both proud and sad as I showcase what Riva and I have achieved together.

Poor Touria and Seth were two of the youngsters worst affected by a skin condition that caused them to have scabs like armour plating all over their backs. I had to wash them every three days, then remove as much of the scabs as I could before putting an essential oil mixture onto the remaining scabs. Seth was not as bad as Touria and his scabs have cleared up nicely but Touria’s took longer and then as the scabs on her back and butt went away they started appearing on her chest, down her legs, on her stomach and girth area. The poor girl had them on her face and ears too.  She now only has a few on her belly and girth area. I have stopped washing her but am keeping up with the oil treatment. I hadn’t played with Touria much since the last post. I had one session online trying to teach her to stretch but I wasn’t sure if she got it. Then I had less time and energy for playing with her as her scab washing became more intensive and as I threw myself into riding Riva and Paris. So two days ago I had my first online session with her in a month! And it did not take nearly so long to have her stretching and this time she really did seem to understand what it was I wanted. And yesterday we tried for a 3^rd time and she had it almost straight away! She is so smart! I’m really happy because she always goes around with her head up and she is capable of moving very well but as she holds herself wrong she is not developing any topline. I think she will soon realise that it is more comfortable and easier to perform when she stretches across her topline. She is also doing canter stick to me at liberty now. She really is a funny horse. Her extroverted side is coming out more and more now as she nudges me for treats and starts licking me. She was always so reserved and delicate with her nose before!

Unfortunately Seth went lame from abscesses again. So I have returned to the working team. We really don’t know what the physical cause of his abscesses are because, on outside appearances, he has some of the best hooves in the youngster herd! So I have not been playing with him and have instead returned to the work team in the mornings. I hope this can change because otherwise I can’t see us getting much more progress made before I leave.

We have a couple of new working students. Joke arrived a month ago. She is awesome, very funny and sweet. I really like her. She has a fjord called Hellaba who is very left brained and very pretty. And this week Jana arrived. She is sharing my room with me, which has been somewhat of an adjustment for me. I did share my room for a month with Joe France and two months with Helene but I’m used to having it to myself. Jana is also nice and we are doing quite well with the language barrier between the two of us. Her English is not the strongest although it is much better than my French. I’m sure she’ll be fluent in English by the time she finishes her time here!

Hanne is going home soon. She realised what she really wants in life and has made a change with her studies and got accepted on a course that starts in two weeks. I’m really happy for her, she has come a long way in a short amount of time, but I will be very sad to see her leave. She has been a good friend and a lot of fun to have around. I will miss my buddy, sitting on the sofa next to me, equally hooked on Heroes and eating food whilst on our lap tops. And laughing at my inability to multitask.

My externship plans have been coming together. I have found a group of other students to share a condo in Pagosa with. We will also share a car and I have a cool lease horse. He’s a LBI quarter horse called Boaz. I’m looking forward to meeting him. I will be going to his home in Wyoming for two weeks before the externship so that I can start to form a relationship with him before we go to Colorado. His owner Lynette is a very kind woman and I’m looking forward to getting to know her in real life too. She has told me that it would be best if I could take a superwide fluidity saddle to use on him if I can. I am trying to find one I can borrow for the externship but have also decided to measure Paris up because if the saddle will fit them both it might be worth working out how I can increase my debt and get a saddle of my own. At least then I’ll also have a saddle that works on Paris for when I’m home after the externship. At the moment I ride him in Marie-Claire’s fluidity saddle because Paris doesn’t like his Kieffer Dressage Saddle. It restricts his shoulder and his back always looks more dipped after I’ve ridden him in it. 

And as for my non-horsey life... apart from watching Being Erica and Heroes with the girls I’m not really the most sociable person in the house. I think we’re all tired most evenings and we get on really well but life is pretty routine for us here. And I miss home. I had some sad news the other day when I found out that my cousin had passed away unexpectedly. It really made me realise how far away I am from home. I found out via Facebook because I can’t be called on the phone easily at all. I am very grateful that I have been allowed to go home to attend the funeral. I want to pay my respects, but more than anything I want to be there to support and comfort my mum and aunt. I also look forward to enjoying just being back with my family, Will and Summer again. I miss them all so much all the time. The other night Summer was on Skype singing Gangnam style and playing with her Phantom of the Opera dolls! She will be with us for the weekend that I am in the UK so I will get to play with her again. 

I will try to blog more often but knowing what I’m like I’ll wish you all a Merry Christmas and I hope you all really cherish your time with the ones you love!

A Phase Four from the Universe!

I was feeling so relieved when I realised I had more time to meet the requirements for the externship. I was wrong.

I got the result for my freestyle audition. 3+. It wasn't good enough. It wasn't too big a surprise really, I had been most concerned by my freestyle audition and had had a lot of difficulties with it. But now it was back, following me around like a bad smell. I was disappointed and rather miserable about the prospect of having to go through the whole filming procedure all over again.

I decided to wait until christmas before I film again in order to have time to make some solid improvements. I wanted to have more fun and lightheartedness in my sessions with Paris. My motivation levels were back on high, even if my actual energy level was having a hard time keeping up,  so when Thomas proposed that I perform the vet care duties on the injured horses and then have horse time in the morning I leapt at the chance. I was playing with all my project horses and giving lessons.

I was also getting emotional, irritable and crabby.

I was swinging from success to failure back to success again.

I had started playing with Seth again. He's the 6 year old barb arab gelding that I have been working on and off with, with Gabi, to help him overcome his saddling and riding issues. He is an extreme right brain introvert with a left brain extrovert streak. I was playing with him alone as I only planned to get our saddling back to where it had been before the last time we stopped playing. It was all going so well that I also did the mounting preparations and Seth gave me the green light so I got on, got off, got on, did lateral flexion, indirect rein and jumped off. I was ecstatic, I had safely and correctly read him and played with him and could get on him un-assisted! The next couple of days I also passengered him at the walk with some isolations mixed in. I had a session with Gabi and we had our first trots off of the lead! He was making so much progress and I was very excited about where this would lead.

My sessions with Touria were not so progressive. She seems to be in an argumentative phase. I took her for a trail ride and asked her to canter across a field and she started to buck and bronc so I decided to take her out with the bridle the next day so I would have an effective phase four for bending. But on this day there was a lot of activity from the team re-viving the outdoor arena and Touria was very right brained. I decided to trail ride her away from the scary activities but she would not go down the road passed the arena. She then decided to go along the path between the arena and stables, heading toward the students. I thought it was a good idea because we could go in front of the castle and take the forest road by the students and have a nice trail ride that way. But she wasn't thinking about that, she was thinking about going back to the garden paddocks. So in the end we were on the lawn in front of the castle just doing tiny circles because she only wanted to go the the fence of the garden paddocks and eat and not actually move in any direction i asked. it got so bad that at one point she finally took one step in the direction i asked and i jumped off and then did falling leaf from the ground back to the stable. the next day I rode her in the arena and she was extroverted. Before long our session was having the same issues as the day before, with her arguing harder and harder. she ave me 30 foot of beautiful sideways without a fence, when I was asking her to go the other way! After that session I reflected on it and realised I had been constantly disengaging her; treating her behaviour as right brained but she had felt like I was being the minister of no. she had been left brain extrovert and i had been using entirely th wrong strategy for her!

So the next day I went with her die and every time she stopped at the rail by the garden paddock I used my carrot stick to hit the rail. I wasn't telling her off but I did caused her idea to be far less comfortable. By spending time going with her ideas I could gently add my own and "suddenly" we could canter 2 laps of the arena in a nice forward canter with no issues! It was very cool.

With Riva I had continued to do trail rides and had introduced her to the snaffle and began fluid rein with stretching in mind.

Last Sunday I was playing with Seth in the morning. Our online warm up and saddling session was going as good as it had been for the previous few days and he even gave me two laps of a calm light canter, with no pulling. I went through the mounting procedure and noticed that when I got on he wasn't as interested in playing with my feet as he had been. I figured that it's probably not so interesting and novel for him anymore. I did some lateral flexion, indirect rein and then direct rein to move him off. We played a little touch it, walked a figure eight pattern and I asked him for a ninestep back up. He couldn't or wouldn't back up. I knew not to get into a pulling battle with two reins so I used the jingle bell method and in the end got a few steps of back up. I made a mental note that we needed to sort that out. As he was bending and responding to my steering I decided to ask him for trot. After a lot of persistance and repeatedly asking him I finally got a few strides of trot but he would fall back into walk at the gate. I was a bit disappointed that I was not able to get the same or better than the day before. I guess it was those thoughts that got in the way of me realising that if he was not going forward it was because he was getting stuck. We were back at the walk and as we passed the arena wall my stirrup iron scraped it. The sound startled Seth who leapt sideways and then was caught in a death panick and he started to spin and buck and bronc on the spot. I felt myself falling in slow motion, all the time trying to stop it from happening. I also remember the whole thing being black - I had my eyes closed the whole time! As I leapt up I thought I should probably take more time to check I'm ok but I felt fine and I unclipped my rein so that I could move him around. I did lots of hind quarter disengagment, and sent him over the jump at a canter. He was looking very cool and so I took him to the block and went through my mounting preparations again. Again he was blinking, breathing, licking and chewing. He gave me the green light and I got on. I decided to walk the figure eight pattern after I had checked out his lateral flexion and indirect rein. He showed curiosity and walked towards the plastic bag on the end of the carrot stick that i had been using. I  wanted to encourage this left brained behaviour but he stamped on the bag and scared himself - immediately he was spinning again, hard, and the bucking began again. This time I was more aware of what was happening as I was thrown off balance by the spinning and then lifted into the air by the bucking only to come down and find no horse underneath me. I felt the ground hard beneath my him and thought to myself, I'm going to be sore now. I stood up and felt the shock pour over me like water. My emotions welled up and I knew I needed help. I picked up the plastic bag and stick and began to do the friendly game, waving it rythmically and headed out of the arena with Seth in toe to find Gabi. As soon as Gabi realised I had fallen off she came to help. I told her I did not want his session to end on such a bad note but I felt like I couldn't break the pattern we were starting. She played with him and got on him and had him trot a bit before she got off. The whole time I felt like he was not far from exploding, it was a big dissappointment for all three of us.

I headed to the kitchen and cooked lunch, feeling pretty ok. I knew that if I stopped doing stuff t would catch up with me and I was putting it off. We all ate lunch and then I headed to the garden paddock to get Romeo for his treatment. The girls were all in the living room and were putting the new Fresh Canvas dvd on. I was gutted to be missing out and felt myself get irrationally annoyed. I began hosing Romeo's wound and, as part of his three times daily routine, I began singing to him. According to Marie, the animal communicator, Romeo always asks for people to sing to him and I had noticed he seemed calmer and happier when I sang during the treatments. As soon as I was singing I felt my irritation dissolve and my mood lift. I was holding Romeo's bucket in one hand, the hose in the other and as he finished his food and was licking his bucket he decided to chew the bucket - and bit my finger. I could see and feel his teeth push harder into my left index finger and the pain start coming and when I moved my other hand to geth him to stop biting the water from the hose went everywhere and soaked me. I was really angry. I felt pure anger boil up through me and almost as quickly I was ashamed of myself. I burst out crying. Am I going crazy? How can my emotions be yoyoing so badly? This is not normal for me, I feel like I'm losing control! I hugged Romeo, who seemed rather bemused about this soggy little two legged predator hanging around his neck, and sobbed my heart out. Finally I felt I had enough of a grip on myself to finish his treatment. I put the rubber gloves on and began to insert my right index finger into his wound. Then I realised just how much my right hand, especially the index finger, was hurting from falling off of Seth. I tried to use another finger but they were either the wrong angle, too close to my painful finger or too weak to effectively push into the hole. In the end I gritted my teeth and used my sore finger as best I could. As I walked Romeo to the field I saw Thomas coming with the electric mule. I tried to avoid looking at him in the hope that he would not see how emotional I was but when I heard him slam the brakes on I knew I had not succeeded. "Is it body pain or soul pain?" he asked. I felt the tears come welling up again, rolling down my cheeks and big sobbing gasps as I tried to get enough air to speak. I shook my head, I didn't know what to say. Finally "I don't know" escaped my mouth followed by a wracking sob, as if a flood gate had opened and all my stress and fears and confusions and anxieties over the past weeks came pouring out at once. Poor Thomas. Laura came over and immediately took control of the situation. She directed me to the living room and took Romeo from me. In the living room Mirjam and Karen comforted me and told me to stay in the house for the rest of the night and they would take over my Romeo duty and if I needed the morning I should stay in then too. I felt so grateful to them. I really needed a chance to pull myself together and straighten myself out.

That evening I was on Skype to Will and I got an email from Parelli. My Liberty audition had been assessed - level 4!!
It was certainly just the thing I needed to hear, and lifted my mood no end.

The next day we had Isabelle, the vet, coming to visit. Thomas treated Romeo in the morning and I arrived at lunch in order to be helpful when Isabelle arrived. I asked Mirjam and Karen to help me bring the horses in from the garden paddock and we were all standing in Sirius' paddock as I positioned myself next to him in order to put his halter on. Suddenly the horses spooked and Sirius left sideways knocking me flying, as I hit the ground I was very aware that his hooves were on top of me. He was desperately trying not to stand on me but seemingly not realising he had to move away and get off me! I remember thinking "why is he still on me?!" I leapt up and felt a pain on my head and as I put my hand up I realised my savvy club cap was hanging off my pony tail and I fixed it on straight. I felt a pain in my knee and shoulder. Great, more aches and pains. I was actually very surprised at how little I hurt. I caught Sirius and kept him at a distance as he was quite right brained reactive to everything.

After talking to Isabelle about Romeo, and listening to her confirm that Sirius could return to the herd, I watched as Isabelle began dentistry on the horses. I was suddenly feeling dizzy and tired. Karen took me back to the house and I took some painkillers for the worst headache i have ever had in my life! The next morning I got up and went to breakfast so that I could join in with discussing the plans for the day. I arranged to help Karen treat Romeo after lunch and headed back to the house with the Fresh Canvas dvds and spent the day learning about foal training and sleeping. I went to bed early and slept for 11 hours, then I fell asleep watching Liberty and Horse Behaviour the next day. I couldn't believe how much I was able to sleep but my body was so so grateful!

Inbetween sleeping I was able to get perspective on what had happened. I realised that everything that had been going on had piled up in my head and was a jumbled mess and causing my brain to go completely right brain extrovert. I really felt like the universe had stepped in and delivered me an effective phase four and as I nursed my sore aching muscles I felt my brain go "thanks! I needed that!"

The last few weeks, no months, have been incredible. I have learned and experienced so much. And now I have learned a little more about looking out for myself and my own limits! I'm feeling refreshed and like my thoughts and emotions are back to full health.

And this new perspective has affected my horseplay. I am playing for the relationship with all of my horses now, not so worried about tasks. Even with Paris and the freestyle audition. Especially with Paris. He brought me on this journey, he's my partner whatever happens. I keep thinking I really understand what it is to put the relationship first and then I discover a new level of how I am standing in my own way.

I have begun playing with my horses again, and already have acheived something new with each of them... I'm really excited where this perspective will take us!

Summer Lovin'

Wow so much happened in the last month!

With a lot of help and support from Gabi, Thomas and Marie-Claire, I managed to film and submit my online, freestyle and liberty auditions. I got a level 3++ for my online, and am still waiting for the rest of my results. Here are the links:
online - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_gBFcfLHks
freestyle - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXjlMpwhlNI
liberty - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1b5Yv5tnsQ

Paris has been absolutely awesome! I have been very wary about getting too ambitious with him. I didn't want our relationship to be damaged for the sake of a few videos, but on the other hand I do want to show the best we can do. The hardest part was not getting too direct line once the camera was on. Paris is very good at giving me immediate feedback if I am getting too direct line, and a few times I really had to do some undemanding time to keep our relationship in balance. The funny thing is that all this really seems to have helped our relationship! He's coming to me and wanting to be with me more than ever, we're making so much progress and he really seems to be enjoying it! I guess we've had a purpose to our principles and it's proof that the program works!

Having gotten the auditions under control I have been able to pay more attention to my other horses. Touria is really going slow at the moment, in everything. She is becoming the ultimate introvert! I have been trying to make the most of trail riding whilst we can still do it because I'm not looking forward to a winter of arena work with my LBI. her isolations are doing really well, and she comes alive for things like jumping a line, where she gets to rest for 5 minutes after until our next turn. ultimate point to point! And now she's getting so good about not bucking that I felt confident enough to have my first bareback canter on her the other day. It was so smooth and comfortable! But today we went on a trail ride and were cantering in the old field, where the bucking first started and.. she was bucking! i could bend her (just) so it's given me food for thought - how do i get her to have enough respect in the field. She really seems to associate fields with all the fun and games she plays with her herd mates!

 Riva is really happy to be coming back into action. I took her for a few trail ridse and she was really well behaved, especially considering how long it's been since we've done anything. It feels so good to have her back in my hands again. In the arena we're getting correct canter leads and even maintain canter. And I tried her out on the bow tie pattern the otherday. we had spent weeks on that pattern until my brain was about to bleed but it was so difficult to get it right. Now we could just do it, with canter and correct leads and everything!

Gabi gave me a lesson on Quimrahil. I learned so much and was amazed to find myself doing canter through walk lead changes on the wall bridleless with a horse the first time i rode it. Gabi asked me to ride or play with Quimrahil whilst she's been away on holiday so that he stays mobile. He's a great teacher and I really enjoy playing with him. I think he finds me amusing in a weird kind of way! The other day he pulled the cover off my helmet shook it and threw it in the floor. I laughed so hard. I've ridden him a few times whilst Gabi was away. Mostly I just did freestyle in the arena, bridleless practicing my leads but I also did one bareback session and we still did our simple lead changes! I ponied Touria from him on one trail ride but we were behind a lot of other horses most of the time and that doesn't suit him. He got cranky and actually did a couple of really massive bucks. Luckily after having Touria as a project horse it really was nothing to stay on and ride him through. Seriously, if a career in Parelli doesn't work out I will consider doing rodeo!!

I am hoping we'll be able to get going with a program with Seth again. He's such a special boy.

At the moment Marie-Claire is away so I am helping to keep Quivala mobile by ponying her. She's so much fun, a little bit dominant but willing too. I ponied her in the arena from Paris today and we did yoyos, sideways, jumping, pedestal, bridge, canter circles with Quivala on the outside and on the inside, both ways. it wasn't the tidiest prettiest ponying in the world but it was a lot of fun and i felt really inspired! i can really see why Pat loves playing with horses from horseback - it is such an intense way to work on your horsemanship!

During my audition fever I had the oppertunity to go home for three days. My Mum was planning a massive garden party to celebrate her anniversary, housewarming, my sister's 19th birthday, my other sister's wedding and now my engagement. I really wanted to go but it was during the August boot vamp so I was sure the answer would be no. But as it got closer i decided i had nothing to lose by asking. So i spoke to Marie-Claire and then with Thomas and Gabi. They said I could go so I immediately tried to book my plane ticket - but I had insufficient funds! Luckily for me, my knight in shining armour came to the rescue! Will bought my tickets and arranged to pick me up from the airport. I flew to the UK on the Friday afternoon and by 7pm I was in the car with Will heading to his brother Ben's fancy dress 21st birthday party. My parents were also going but they didn't know I would be there and I was really looking forward to seeing the surprise on their faces. Usually Will and I are both really bad at surprises so we were feeling very pleased with ourselves that we had managed this and I was glad that I had ended up with such a short amount of time between knowing i was going and actually going! I changed into my fancy dress costume. The theme of the party was "TV and Film" and Will had managed to get my police woman costume from my mum without her knowing it was for me. he told her i said his friend could borrow it. So I pretended to be a character from The Bill. Will changed once we were at the party. He went as Robby Rotten from the kids show Lazy Town. All his sisters and their partners had made a real effort with their costumes, it was great to be at a fancy dress party where the majority of people were actually dressed up!

I spotted my Mum's car coming into the car park and Will and I headed to the doors and then I hid behind him. He greeted mum, Dave and Tammy as they walked through the door and then I stepped out from behind him. Their faces we a picture. Mum just ran at me so fast my police woman's hat flew off and Tammy screamed "Cheryl!!" and then ran over and joined the massive hug. Dave stood there in shock looking at us and I gave him a big hug too. We spent the night dancing, eating, chatting and ust having a great time. Mum asked if I was coming home with them, but I siad I was staying at Will's. Will has his daughter Summer and it was my first chance to meet her and I wanted to make the most of it. Will had Summer when he was previously married. When he divorced Summer's mum he had to fight hard for custody of Summer. She was just a baby and he didn't get to see her at all for 6 months, and then her would only be allowed to see her for a couple of hours every second Saturday. Finally, just a month before, he had won the right to have overnight access to Summer. And now his ex was going on holiday and he had Summer for 11 days! so this was a really big deal for Will too.  At Ben's party, Summer was busy playing with her cousins. She was in a funny mood with Will and I didn't know how to be, I didn't want to force myself on her so I just decided to wait. After the party Will took Summer home, I sat in the back of the car. Will put Summer to bed and then we both fell asleep, exhausted after a long, fun, marvelous day.

 On the Saturday morning, I got up and checked on Summer and told Will when she was up. He got her dressed and made up both breakfast. I was trying to talk to Summer but she was very quiet, that is until I asked her if she could show me her pet rat! Suddenly she was happy for me to be with her and she was showing me not just cute Snuffles but all her favourite toys. She showed me how she can play her recorder and how she can use it wake people up, including poor little Snuffles! The rest, as they say, is history! Me and Summer got on like a house on fire! We went to my mum's to help prepare for the big garden party then back to Will's to change before we went back to the party. I spent almost the whole party playing with Summer, showing her my tortoise, having pillow fights and watching disney mvies. Will was at the back of mum's garden entertaining all the guys with his slack line. When Summer was happily watching her movie i took five minutes to join in on the slack line. toward the end of the night me and Summer joined Will sitting arounf the cirtonella candles, chatting with everyone. It was very cosy sitting beside Will with Summer in my lap. Summer got bored though so the three of us moved inside and we put Spirit, Stallion of the Cimmeron on. Hayley joined us and showed me her you tube movies and watched my online audition. I know I didn't spend much time with anyone other than Summer, but that was fine with me! Finally we took a sleep Summer home and both out her to bed. Sunday morning when I checked on Summer she was already awake and she looked so happy to see me and I took her to the toilet and helped her get dressed whislt Will got up. Will made us breakfast whilst I played with Summer and her dolls. We eventually headed back to my mum's for a fried breakfast and to help with the clean up operation! When we left I gave my mum a hug and she was getting all teary eyed. It was really hard knowing that we had had so little time and now I would be heading back to France the next day. After a couple of relaxing hours at Will's we headed to my Dad's. He didn't know I was even in the UK so he got a surprise too, although my Dad is much more introverted with his surprise! I think it was very strange for him, me turning up out of the blue with my fiance and a three year old little girl. They had a paddling pool in the garden and a bbq so everyone chilled in the garden whilst I played with Summer in the paddling pool, slowly soaking all of her clothing. So it wasn't long before I was sitting in a garden chair with a naked little Summer wrapped in a towel on my lap, singing all the little rhymes my Nan had sung to me when I was her age. We headed home to Will's and as the sun set we played in the garden, Summer showing me her skills on her Dad's trapeze. Summer was tired and it wasn't so hard to put her to bed. Then I hung out with Will in the living room, watching TV and talking and feeling so so happy. I just wanted to stay like this, and found myself looking forward to when I get home.

Monday Morning the three of us played with lego. It was a strange atmosphere, we were all having such a good time but knew that soon I would be on a plane back to France. As we said goodbye at the airport I told Will not to cry in front of Summer. I hate goodbyes so much.

For a while after my return to France I was rather subdued, focused soley on my auditions. I was homesick like I've never been in my life and I struggled to shake my feeling of apathy.

I emailed Parelli about my applying for the externship and about my auditions. The response I got was that I had until 2 months before the course to reach the necessary requirements, so I had until March! Instantly I felt the pressure lift and just a little annoyance that all the stress I had been feeling was so unnecessary! I have sent in my application for the externship now and am waiting for the result of that along with the results of my freestyle and liberty auditions.

We had a one week Alexander Technique course. It was fascinating to see how through visualisation and relaxation we could undo negative boy tension patterns and enable our bodies to function correctly, as nature intended. The change in everyone's posture was remarkable! It certainly gave a new way of thinking about my body and how I use it.

The weekend after the course we had over 100 guest of the Mayor come for a demonstration. Having been busy with auditions and the Alexander Technique course I didn't have much prepared in way of a pecific demo. At the last minute we decided that I was doing a liberty demonstartion with Gabi first, then MC and Mirjam did a freestyle pas de deux and finally Gabi and I would return to do some bridleless riding.

I went into the arena with a few of the other working students and we warmed up and played online as people arrived and went by on their tour of the Plessis. Soon enough the tribune was full of spectators, with the less able to walk sitting in chairs in the corner of the arena itself. Paris was awesome in the warm up. He was a bit spooked at the people sitting in the chairs so we hung out with them until her was loving the old ladies, licking their hands and giving them kisses. I then took him and contined to prepare him for our liberty demonstration. As the final spectators settled down the other girls left the arena and then Gabi joined me online. She went to one end of the arena, i was at the other, and, with the music from Amelie playing, we began to play with our horses. I did some extreme friendly and zone 5 driving before slipping Paris' halter off. We did some stick to me, lead by the tail, backward circles, more extreme friendly with me also crawling underneath him and between his front legs. then we did stick to me over a pretty big jump and Paris loaded into the trailer. he was amazing, playful and cheeky enough to get the audience laughing but connected enough to give some real wow moments too. We left the arena and saddled up for the freestyle demo and when I got on I realised I had a problem. He was in a very forward mood! This happens sometimes! I tried to reinforce mu halt and back up but I could feel that we were not going to be showing our best today! He had been doing so well with this after all that we had practiced for the auditions. Gabi asked me if I was ready to begin and I said "ready as I can be" knowing I wasn't ready at all! We headed into the arena and positioned ourselves facing the audience and did a dressage style nod before beginning doing figure eights with simple changes passing each other. we did some sideways and clover leaf with a jump and then split. Gabi did stuff on the pedestal and around it. I removed my saddle whislt still mounted. The idea had occured to me after I had seen Karen do it on the Alexander Technique course and I had been thinking how did i show the super cool bareback and bridleless stuff whislt also having a saddle for the bits i needed. I had never tried unsaddling from on board before. I undid the girth and then popped my self back over the cantel and sa ob Paris' loins as I lifted the saddle up onto his neck so I could move back into position on his back and then I lifted the saddle and balanced it on my hip and rode Paris to the edge of the arena where i carefully passed it to Thomas. I then trotted around bareback and bridleless and asked for canter but Paris was too tense and worried to canter. I persisted and soon he was flying around the arena, exactly what the audience were wanting to see. I halted in the question box and looked over at Gabi who was heading for the trailer for the grand finale, she put Quimrahil into the trailer and took the trapauline and cantered around the arena bridleless with the tarp billowing behind her. i was worried about Paris' reaction but he just looked at it. Gabi knelt on Quimrahil's saddle before jumping off and I had so much adrenaline that I found the corouge to stand up completely stright on Paris' back. then i jumped off and headed out of the arena. Paris and I were mobbed abd men were even asking me if he was for sale! in my best french  I explained that Paris would never be fore sale.

Marie-Claire had a level one Parelli course the next weekend. Two of the girls, Gess and Helene, that came for it are staying for two months. They have moved into the student house and are working as part of the team. Just before the demo our latest long term working student joined the team - welcome Hanne!

Laura moved out of the student house into a beautiful French cottage just 10 minutes drive from here. It's great for her to have more privacy and space for herself. And the stdent house is still full!

Marie-Claire is away on a much needed short vacation in Belgium to recover from a crazy summer. As Gabi and Thomas were also on holiday Mirjam and I took on teaching Gess and Helene. It's been a fun and interesting experience, and real confirmation for me that I enjoy teaching and have chosen the right career for me. I hope I still get to do some teaching when Marie-Claire is back.

Monday week ago we had a real disaster here. Poor Hanne went to do the late night feeding tour which invoved releasing the youngsters into their field at 10 pm. As she was on her way through the paddock paradise to do this the herd came running at her. She jumped from the mule and was jumping up and down screaming to defend herself. Amazingly she wasn't hurt but the mule behind her was smashed to peices. Two horses were injured, Smigus and Sirius. Fortunately Smigus just had some bad scratches and bashed up knees. He's virtually fully recovered and is back with his herd. Sirius got a deep long cut in his armpit and we were debating whether it should be stitched. Personally I had the feeling that it was so deep that if it was stithed there was a high potential for infection to be trapped inside and cause complications. Marie-Claire said he had had a similar wound as a foal and it had swollen and burst the stitches and ended up healing without stitches. I took the injured horses in to the stables and cleaned their wounds. I have been looking after their wounds ever since. Isabelle, the vet, came to visit on the Friday and game me orders to continue treating Sirius as we were and to hose Smigus' knees three times a day. We also showed her Romeo. He got an injury in his armpit in early August. He went to the vet and was cared for by Jo France until she went home. His wound closed but then swelled up with an abcess the size of a lemon. He was taken to the vet and the abcess was burst and the puss drawn out. He then came home with a baggy peice of skin, like an empty balloon. His lump swelled back up again and we discovered that he was meant to be on an antibiotic feed supplement but the message had not been passed to the work team. We put him on it about a week before Isabelle came to visit. Unfortunately the lump was still the size of a lemon, so she decided to cut it open. She told me it needed to be rubbed vigorously everyday with iodine. I began doing this but was not happy with the wound when I saw that it had foamy white puss bubbling out of it all the time and that a new lump was forming beside it. We took Romeo to the vet again and the hole was made bigger and we were given orders to hose it out 3 times a day on full pressure for 15 minutes a time. I was a bit worried how I would do this because he was already starting to rear up when I was rubbing, before the wound was so big.  Fortunately i think the cold water numbs the pain so after a while he would stand very nicely for me. I have been working on it, singing to him and giving him carrots as i sit on a chair virtually underneath this 18hh (180cm) gentle giant. He's so adorable and is so brave even when I am reaching in and exploring his entire wound with my fingers and then squirting iodine in. I am learning so much about horse care and applying horsemanship principles to help the horses cope mentally and emotionally with their treatments.

At the moment I am finding myself happily exhausted. It's good to have my motivation back in full and to actually be tired at night because I'm doing so much. I hope things will ease up a little in time for Will's visit in October half term because by then I really will need a few days off!

Auditions and engagments

Well last time I updated my blog I was rather open about my love life! Sorry about that, but it's probably not going to be much better this time as Will came to visit me last week. But I'm getting ahead of myself, a lot has happened in the last few weeks.

We started having jumping lessons at the Plessis! It was great to see how things have changed with Paris. Before we did Parelli jumping with him had become a real ordeal and I actually lost a lot of confidence with it. He would go fast then refuse or cat leap in the most bizarre jumping style and my imperfect jumping position and poor balance really showed - sometimes painfully! We have jumped the odd obstacle, usually barrels, since doing Parelli, but had never really focused on it. So before we started jumping Marie-Claire gave us all a seat building session and I realised that I had developed a pretty ok seat as long as I'm sitting, but I had completely lost balance with standing in the stirrups! Marie-Claire advised me to work on my canadian trot (one beat sitting two beats rising) to imporove my balance and then increase the difficulty as I got better. So every time I rode a horse, any horse, I would do canadian trot. It has really improved and is also a lot of fun! It was funny because Paris got a bit emotional about the change in rythm, especially when I lost my balance but soon he learned to cope with his "drunk" rider. And my balance has improved a bit!

So with my new found pleasure in jumping, not only have I been having fun going over, in my mind, fairly decent obstacles with my more confident, smarter, braver equine partner, but I have also started jumping with Touria. It's funny that she really seems to enjoy it! It has given more purpose to having impulsion and steering (in her mind at least, I always thought it was important but she had other ideas!) and getting a long break after a short blast of effort really suits her! We have also had fun on the playground. She tried napping with me, and by napping I mean turning around and bolting full pelt for home and bucking when I tried to stop her. I worked with the concept of make the wrong thing difficult and kept her going until we could agree on a good place to rest, away from where she had been gravitating too. Also when she started going crazy I literally freaked out on top of her, like i was having some kind of epileptic fit on a discoteque dancefloor! It was really cool to see that when I matched her energy she really took note! and I also asked myself why she was feeling the need to nap for home like that and realised my usually confident LBI was actually very insecure on her own in the playground. So we walked around all of it and found relaxation in all the spooky corners. Yet again it was a reminder to me of how important it is to always keep the horses confidence and curiosity!

Not so much has been going on with Seth and Riva. They both had the osteopath and needed to have a holiday. And at one point I rode Riva on a trailride whilst ponying Seth and he tripped and cut his knee open. It was pretty deep and we had to keep it bandaged for a few days.

I was enjoying my sleeping morning a couple of weeks ago when Karen noticed a link to something called the Parelli Institute on the latest e-newsletter. I looked at the link and saw that the course dates for next years externship had been released. It will be May through to August and applications need to be in by 30th September! Suddenly I was really freaked out. My plan had been to re-do the Fast Track and then with my new score hopefully qualify for an externship shortly after. But the UK Fast Track will likely be on at the same time as the externship and it could mean I would not be able to do the externship until 2014!

I absolutley love my life here - I get to be with amazing people, play with fantastic horses, develope my horsmanship and really enjoy a beautiful french countryside lifestyle. But I do want to become a Parelli Professional and return home where I can teach and be with my family, my friends and of course Will. So when I realised that these auditions were going to be so important in determining the timeline for this I suddenly felt the pressure. I went to Paris and started to play at liberty. I thought as we had been working on our draw and online was going much better maybe our liberty would also be better, we don't tend to focus on liberty. But Paris picked up my energy and what would normally cause him to become excited took him over the edge and he was running around the round pen in a right brain episode, not looking at me or responding to my hindquarter disengagment. I realised what was going on and new i had no business at that moment doing anything with a horse. I finally got him in and i sat on the floor with him. Finally I stood up and cried all my fears into his mane. I spent the afternoon looking at theaudition requirments and filling in the self assessment checklists. So the last coupole of weeks I have been basically obsessed with the auditions. In someway or another, I have done something everyday toward the auditions, with the exception of, i think one or two days when Will was visiting. Here is a link to the online audition which I have completed and submitted. Fingers crossed I get the results soon! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_gBFcfLHks

Will came Monday week ago. Jo France dropped me off at the village to meet him. Jo came here for a week last summer when we had another Jo, and English one (Jo England), also here. She has come for a month now and is sharing my room. We had estimated that Will would arrive in the village at 7pm so I got there 10 minutes early. I soon realised it was not clever not having anymeans to call him, no watch or anything to see how long I'd been waiting. It felt like forever. It was hot in the evening sun, no where to sit. The flying ants were starting to gather and I watched them as I walked manic circles like a boxwalking horse. Every car that went by caused me to get excited and inevitably disappointed when I saw the various occupents. Finally I herd a bib. A car had stopped at the corned and the driver was watching me. I ran across the road and jumped in. He was here! Will was in France! He was with me!

If you do not want to hear anymore about Will, please spare yourself and stop reading now! I took Will up to the top to see if everyone was there as they had requested I introduce him immediately. Of course no one was there soI took Will to the student house where I rustled up a nice meal and we ate outside on the patio overlooking the fields where Paris lived. I introduced Will to the girls one by one, and to Paris.

I won't go into detail about everywhere we went, everything we did. But I do want to share one thing.

One morning I woke up to find a small box on my pillow infront of me. As I opened the box Will asked "Will you marry me?" and I answered "Ofcourse!" Will says that is not actually the proposal. He said the original proposal had taken place already....

One night in Italy, we were walking along the beach eating icecreams we had just bought. We sat on the sand and I sat between his legs, leaning against his chest as we chatted about the crazy flavours of icecream in italy. It was another one of those moments, of which I have had many with Will, where I just wished I could stop time, freeze the world and just stay there, exactly in that moment. And I found myself saying "I think it would be nice if we got married, then we could be together always". For me we had already mentioned getting married. I guess Wedding fever was on everyone and we had people joking that after Lizzie's wedding me and Will would be next. For the first timein my life the thought of marrying a specific person was not at all scary, but exciting! I didn't have a ring for him or get down on one knee. In fact it is quite typical of me to kill all the romance by just having a conversation about what for most people would have been a landmark event. But for Will it was more than that, it was his childhood sweetheart talking about marrying him, and that doesn't happen everyday. We spoke of it in other conversations. Will even looked at rings in Italy but we didn't make anything official. Before Will came to France he went to visit Mum and Dave. I had told him to talk to them about us getting married because I wanted to makesure they would not get a shock when my Facebook status changed. When he got there they already knew what he was going to talk about and told him if I was crazy enough to marry him we had their blessing!

So I knew Will was bringing a ring and that we were going to make our engagment official and public, but still I didn't know which moment he would pick to give me the ring. Or what ring he had chosen. When I opened the box inside was a whitegold ring, consisting of two crossed bands, merging into one, with three small beautiful diamonds.

We changed our Facebook statuses and Will found it hilarious that his status change got more comments and like than mine. the girls all clocked the ring on my finger but Marie-Claire never mentioned it. Eventually we had a barbeque and whilst Marie-Claire was getting more wine the girls asked if i agreed that this was the moment to tell her. I agreed, I'd been thinking the same thing, but found myself surprisingly nervous! Finally I bit the bullet and said "So, Marie-Claire, I guess you've noticed that something is going on" "I do have good intuition" she replied. "Well the other morning Will asked me to marry him" I said. "And you didn't say yes?" she asked with a tone that sounded like a mix of caution and surprise at the idea "I did" I confirmed, suddenly very confident. Marie-Claire nodded and said "Well, congratulations!" and lifted her glass. We all raised our glasses and I showed the ring to Marie-Claire and Piet.

Will left on Friday, a week ago now. I miss him like crazy but it hasn't put me off my work or the horses. If anythingit has made me more determined to do my absolute best. We skype everynight still, which seems to make the distance not seem so large. I try not to think of how long it will be before I come home, just try to look forward to our next opportunity of seeing eachother.

Next blog should be less lovey dovey. Hopefully I will have completed my auditions and even got the results!

Wish me luck!

Things just get better and better!

Yet again everything has been so crazy I just haven't been able to keep up with my blog.

We officially have a new working student. Mirjam was accepted and stayed on straight from her bootcamp. She's absolutely fab and I'm loving having her in our team! The team is a real unit at the moment, working very well together - so we're all very sad that this is Mathilde's last week with us! Luckily she doesn't live too far away, only an hour away which is not like most working students! so we'll still see her from time to time i'm sure!

Karen has healed from her accident, and the car crash seems so distant now it's almost like it never happened - apart from the fact that i don't have a car!

I have made major progress with Touria! We now do canter without fear of rodeo style bucking sprees! in the arena and on the trail, alone or in company! I even took her over her first jump with a rider the other day and it went so smoothly it was a complete non-event. And I've started riding her bareback back to the pasture after our sessions. It feels like we've really had a massive breakthrough - our relationship is better than ever and she is really understanding this being ridden business! I couldn't be more proud of her I'm sure!

I haven't done so much with Riva, she turned up a bit lame at the boot camp and we started her on some kind of injections into her joints. she's still not sound on a circle to the left but she's playing like crazy in the paddock paradise so i have decided to do SOMETHING with her. I have started teaching her zone 5 driving at the walk with short slow bits of trot. She got it amazingly fast and it seems like a good puzzle for her! And I have also started to pony her on trailrides, leading her from Paris. Not only does it reinforce her stick to me and give her a job, it gives a purpose to my bridleless riding with Paris, which has gone a tad bit rusty!

Gabi has been working with me to ride Seth again. He went lame for a while after i had my car accident and then i went on holiday so he had a long time off but now we're keen to really press forward with his education. He's such a smart cooky when his emotions don't get in the way of his brain! I do love playing with him, he's a great teacher!

And of course Paris -  wow, that horse is the coolest! I have been doing fluid rein to build his confidence in the bit ready for doing the game of contact and it is really progressing. We've done a bit of freestyle jumping too. Online I have been improving our draw and drive because our yoyo was really awful, a real "old couples disease" issue! it's getting much better. and he is much more attentive and connected lately, i'm really enjoying this new depth to our relationship. he is literally just a cool dude now!

OK, now i'm going to deviate from my normally very horsey blog and get rather more personal!

WARNING: This Blog in very long and may contain extremely nauseatingly slushy stuff!!

I went home to go to my little sister's wedding. She has married a lovely bloke, absolutely the perfect guy for her - Congratulations Lizzie and Marco!

I knew going home would be fun and interesting - I didn't quite guess just how much! The short of it, for those of you who don't want to be stuck here reading my life story for ages, is that I found the man of my dreams (I warned you it was slushy)! I didn't expect this to happen whilst I was in France, but the story started much earlier, long long ago...

Once upon a time, when I was five years old in fact, I made friends with a boy at school called William. We were not only best friends but each others only friend. We hung out at lunch times pretending to be all kinds of animals, Willl got me interested in dinosaurs and I got him to pretend to be a magical winged unicorn! We would swing from the braches of the willow tree and build giant birds nests out of the grass clippings.  One day, when we were in year 5, we had an argument, it was pretty bad and I didn't talk to Will for two weeks after, then he stopped trying to talk to me and suddenly he was gone. I felt aweful like I was responsible for him leaving the school or something. School was strange without Will, but I guess it was an imprtant part of me becoming who I am now. I learned to be even more independant. The other school kids had never been very nice to me but they were absolutely horrible to Will. When he left some of their attitude toward him was directed at me. I remember making the decision to not care what they thought of me anymore. For an 11 year old I was pretty mature I think!

Ten years later I went to the local tack shop to buy some horse stuff with my mum and I saw him working there! I recognised him immediately but was terrified that he would be angry with me. I told my mum and as soon as she remembered him (of course she had known my only school friend!) she ran over and started asking him "do you remember Cheryl?!" The strange thing is that my mum was a volunteer for Riding for the Disabled Association and so was Will and they had gone to an RDA quiz night and been on the same team but hadn't clicked that they already knew each other from many years before. My sister, Tammy, was born when I was 7 and later diagnosed with autism. Will's brother is also autistic. Anyway, as soon as the penny dropped and he realised who i was he was really happy to see me! he said we should go out and catch up! so we swapped numbers and hung out a few times. We always had fun but I had just broken up with my first boyfriend after a four year relationship (getting all the details now aren't you?) and I turned down Will's advances and things got a little awkward. The last time I saw him was the day I randomly turned up on his door step to give him a rabbit (as you do) that I had bought him as a present on impulse - yeah a real rabbit, cos he's a magician! it was a white one.

then we didn't see or hear from each other at all for another five years.

of course you know how I embarked on a spiritual journey after my arrival in France (an ongoing journey) and friendship with Elvira. In around September, about the time that I started having lessons with the missionaries I think, I suddenly remembered my old school friend. I remembered that he really really believed in God, but I did not know anything about what denomination or anything. I guess I secretly hoped he was LDS ...

I sent him a Facebook friend request and soon we where chatting online. mostly it was fun but we had a couple of less fun conversations where we "discussed" some of the differences in our faiths. Will is a baptist. When I went home in November for 10 days, I met Will. It was the day before I was about to come back to France and we spent the whole day together. Will came to the stables and then we went to his and he gave me a demonstration of his budgie act (did I mention he trains budgies?). then we had dinner with my family and Will let my mum drive his classic Austin 1100 car (named Bertie, btw, and Bertie has his own facebook account). When it was time to say goodbye it was so hard. I thought about Will all the time as I drove back to France. We would occassionally chat on facebook but as pantomime season took off (Will was one of the ugly stepsisters in the local amateur dramatics production of Cinderella) Will went a bit cold with me, always just responding to my "how's you?"'s with "busy". I was really starting to wonder what was going on, had I upset him? Was he just a jerk? Then at the end of January Marie-Claire invited me to stay at the Plessis much longer. I was so happy and when I told Will his response was "typical". I thought that was a bit odd for someone who seemingly hadn't cared about talking to me. but from then on Will was much chattier and our friendship was normal again.  In March, Will convinced me to download Skype. So glad I did. When we could talk face to face by webcam it was so much better. we would chat for hours, Will would tell me jokes and play songs on his ukulele singing lyrics he had made up. I really missed him when we couldn't chat and was finding myself more and more looking forward to skyping with him. He kept telling me not to love him because he had already been hurt and did not want to be hurt by me. But I couldn't help it, I was falling for him more and more but I just kept it to myself. And I knew that he was falling too, it was like the pair of us had no control over it, no matter how we tried to ignore it or deny it. I tried to be rational and so did he. In the hours we spoke we got to know eachother so well. The funny thing is that we are both so much still the people we were as kids. we already knew so much about each other, and we discovered just how much we have in common. I guess it makes sense. We were so important to each other and spent so much time together when we were at the point in our lives where we shape who we are. And we shaped eachother. Unconsciously. I used to look forward to the point in the conversation, usually around 1am, when things would shift from joking and chatting to something deeper, more serious.

The poor girls here at the Plessis, they had to listen to me trying to make sense of what was going on. I hope I wasn't too bad, I certainly tried not to "go on" about anything too much. Maybe too much so...

We decided that we would meet up when I went home for my sister's wedding. As soon as the decision had been made we were both looking forward to it, counting down the weeks as they went by.

Will came over to my mum's house the first evening I was home. We had a lovely evening with my family and my friend Hayley. I went with Will to his car to say good night, I think we were there almost two hours! He showed of his diablo skills in the dark and I did my impression of Peter Griifin from Family guy... I can't remember what I was saying when Will interupted me and said "shut up and kiss me". My heart skipped a beat. I'd wanted to kiss him for hours but I didn't want to put pressure on him at all. He had been mending a broken heart, he didn't need me making things harder for him. It might not be the most romantic thing anyone's ever said (and he has said a lot of romantic stuff!) but it was significant. It meant it was ok. It was ok for me to fall, I could let go because he was falling with me!

We had our first kiss. All those years. All the talking. All the silence. I'll never forget that kiss for as long as I live. soft, gentle, magical. It felt like time had stopped but it hadn't and Will gently reminded  me he had to go, he had work in the morning and it was about 1 am. Funny, always 1 am.

The next day I went with my Mum and Dave to the New Forest to pick up Tammy from her school. We spent the night in a B&B. It was a wonderful two days, Beautiful weather,beautiful landscape. I befriended a few "wild" ponies, even tought one to pick up it's feet! We went to Beaulieu National Motor Museum and I thought about how much Will would love it. I missed him.

I got back home at 9pm, my phone battery had died in the new forest so i charged it as soon as i got home and called Will to let him know he could come over. He was tired from a long day of work, it was late and we did not live so close to eachother. But I pointed out that I was not in the UK for long, in a few days I'd be off to Italy for my sister;s wedding, then i'd be going back to France. He would regret not coming over. So Will came with his motorbike (gorgeous Royal Enfield Bullet) and turned up in his leathers (oh I did like that!). We sat in my mum's garden and chatted, it's amazing we always have stuff to talk about! We opened up to each other, we shared everything. He told me how he had been trying not to love me, that was the reason he had been "off" with me in january, but he said he couldn't not love me.

We spent two and a half wonderful days together before I headed to Italy with my family. Italy is beautiful and I was enjoying just being on holiday with the people I love but i still really missed Will, of course. So when I got a message from him saying he needed details of where we were because he was coming(!) I was so excited I started jumping up and down squeeling "eeeeeek" like one of those lame blond girls from the american chick flicks.

Will arrived on the Friday and my family kindly took me to the station to pick him up (not that they had much choice - I was about ready to "steal" the hire car and go myself!). We arrived just in time. I saw his train arriving at the platform across the rails and i ran down the stairs through the underpass and up onto the right platform. I saw him and his polka dot suitcase through the crowd and we headed toward each other. Crazy italians just started to cross the rails! so we did the same! it was so bizarre stepping off the platform onto the track! Rather than head straight back to the hotel we decided to make the most of being in a different town and went to the nearby beach. it was a beautiful beach and the sea was so crystal clear and inviting. My legs were still throbbing from the sun burn they got two days before and the cool water was too much to resist. I had no swimming clothes with me so I decided to wade into the water. I held my skirt up to keep it dry but a particularly big wave got me soaked so I thought "oh well, i'm wet now" and dived into the water, swimming and just literally wallowed in the happiness and freedom i felt right at that moment. We cuddled on the beach and spent the rest of our time in Italy virtually inseparable. We hired a pedello and went around town, walked for hours together, went to the beach, ate icecream, visited shops, went to dinner with my family, hung out at the local gay bar, even discovered some old beaten up pedellos in the police carpark.

Lizzie's wedding was the most beautiful and extravagant thing i have ever been to. The service itself took place in a little registry office, mostly in Italian. Lizzie's friends read a poem and it was a very personal affair. Most of the guests travelled up in a big coach to the hotel where the reception was being held. Us bridesmaids were going in mum's hire car and i kidnapped will and he came with us too. The hotel was at the top of a mountain, the next mountain had a giant statue of Jesus on top of it, like the one at Rio. The hotel was enormous, with the biggest marble lobby i have ever seen in my life. A champagne reception and entree buffet was served on the large poolside terrace and Lizzie and Marco arrived in a convertible VW beetle. They looked like a celebrity couple, so glamorous and beautiful, both of them. Already my feet were hurting in my heels and I was walking around barefoot. At least one of the other bridesmaids had the same problem and did the same. Lizzie whisked me away to help with finishing touched in the dining/dance hall. My jaw virtually hit the ground when I walked into a massive room of silver and white. It reminded me of the palace of the snow queen. Everything had been thought of, everyhting was just perfect. The table plan was made in acrylic and each name plaque had also been made to match! A very flashy and stylish affair.

Since Will had not been a planned guest at the wedding, he was placed at a different table, there were 10 courses and the gap between them was quite large so i would eat each course and then sit with Will until the next one arrived. We danced and laughed and Will played music with the band. It really was the best wedding I've ever been to - and I've been a bridesmaid 5 times now! At 3am the coach came to pick up all the guests and take them back to their respective hotels. As we waited for the coach driver I lay in the road with Lizzie's friends. We stared up at the stars singing "somewhere over the rainbow" whilst Will played the tune on his uke. The moon was virtually full and it filled the sky and reflected off the ocean as we made our way back down the mountain to our little seaside town. A perfect night.

The next day we went to Marco's parent's villa for a pool party to celebrate the Jubilee. I spent hours playing in the pool like a little child! it was so much fun! Will had an underwater camera and we had so much entertainment trying to film everyone diving into the pool. I'm the worst diver ever! i think i drank half the pool!

Our time in Italy quickly came to an end. I was starting to feel very sad about that because it meant my time with my family, and with Will, was coming to an end. On Friday I would be heading back to France. Will had to go back to work too so we made he most of the evenings we had left but before we knew it we were doing our best not to get too emotional as we said goodbye and I headed for the airport.

We skype EVERY day. Seriously, without Skype I don't know what I'd do... go insane probably!

Things are going very well and really right now, I am the happiest and luckiest person alive!

Will is visiting in three weeks, which given my current blogging track record, probably means it will be in the next blog i write! I'll keep you posted!

Better Late than Never!

So much has happened I have been carried away and been a terrible blogger despite all my promises not to let it happen again!

So where to start? I obviously won't do a day by day account - I'd be here forever! So I'll stick to the big events!

March was an incredible month for me!

I had my birthday and turned the grand old age of 26. My 25th year was so amazing I was a little sad to see it end but my 26th year certainly looks to be keeping the momentum! The girls got together and bought me a Furminator - an incredible grazing tool which I have had great satisfaction in using on all of my horses as their coats have been changing. Marie-Claire treated us all to a meal at our favourite restaurant and we had a great night, which inevitably lead to me wearing a bread basket as a hat - and I don't even drink!!!

On the 18th we opened the doors of the Plessis for the 2012 Haras Natural du Plessis Open Day. You can watch the highlight on this link! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIOZc_FEIiQ

We had over 200 spectators come and fill up the auditorium. We even had seating in the corner of the arena and people standing on Piet's machines around the back of the arena trying to get a view! It was my first demo and Paris' too. We worked like crazy in the morning to have as much time as possible to prepare the horses for the show. I took Paris in and warmed him up online as the audience was finding their seats and Marie-Claire welcomed every one to the Plessis and introduced them to what we do everyday. Paris was a little tense but very responsive and made a massive effort to listen to me. He gave me some beautiful connection and was soon ready for mounting - which was fortunate because we were scheduled to perform in the carousel. I was over the moon with how Paris managed to keep his emotions in control and act like a partner and I could be the cool calm and collected leader he needed me to be even with the pressure of 200 predators watching us as I tried to remember our complicated choreography routine. Of course it did not go without a hitch but it was a big success and certainly showed our level of imagination! We used our carrot sticks with savvy strings tied together as banners and rode under each other, even over jumps. It was a good test of Paris' friendly game and really put purpose to our principles. Next Gabi came in to do an online and liberty jumping display. I took Paris to the stable to unsaddle him and prepare him for our liberty and freestyle demo. The stables were completely full of people, I've never seen a crowd like it in a place were horses go! Children came and petted Paris and gave him carrots and he stayed left brained. During the interval I took Paris back into the arena to get the connection back before out demo started. This time the atmosphere was getting to him more. Perhaps because of all the umberellas as it had started to rain hard, or because it was getting too difficult for him to leep his emotions under control. He kept looking around but responding perfectly to everything I asked - I felt like he was with me for safety but he was really on the edge of disconnecting. The music changed and MArie-Claire came in with Origan to introduce Elvira and my demonstration. Elvira had Indy at Liberty and was beginning her extreme friendly game as planned. I slid Paris' halter off and felt him get tense, lose connection and I knew if I did extreme friendly right now I would completely lose him! He had been taking security from the holding hands effect of the halter and rope and now he was alone. I quickly adjusted my plan and went straight to our backward circle. It is a very well established pattern of ours, he knows it so well and would need to think about his feet which I hoped would give him some security and cause the left side of his brain to kick in... it worked! He did a beautiful job of sticking to me. I kept it at trot back up transitions at first until he relaxed a little more. He crossed the seesaw a little tentatively and I didn't put the tarp on him as I had planned but did a friendly touch it game with it instead to build his confidence. By the time I asked for canter stick to me he was really much more connected and even stayed with me as we jumped the barrels. He loaded into the trailer and did a lovely sideways at liberty and I used the pedestal to jump onto him bareback and bridleless. He responded beautifully to my energy and I only used my legs and neckstring a little to reassure him and help him find the correct response. He really tried his heart out! He stood on the pedestal with me on him, and we trotted a figure eight pattern and did some yoyos before I asked him to canter large circles around our end of the arena. Elvira and Indy did absolutely fantastic. I guess Paris was a showing his tension because his canter was a little bucky and I really had to push on his whithers and smile. I think the thing I was most proud of was that my RBE could stop from canter when I asked and I then backed him up to where Elvira was standing on Indy's back and I slid off of his butt. Just over two years ago Paris still spooked if the rug was pulled off of him over his butt like that. Now I could slide myself off of him in these extreme circumstances! I took Paris to the stable and was settling him down when I got summoned back to the arena as I was meant to be in the Youngster online demonstration with Touria. Rianne was in the arena with Salvia and Touria. I took Touria from her and discovered she was a little emotional about the situation. I gave her the freedom to move her feet and look around and soon she calmed down and her inately left brain introvert nature kicked in and she dropped to the ground to roll in the sand. I played with the pedestal and trailer and had her straddle a pole. She did very well for her first ever demonstration. I was so pleased with my horses and how the day went - I could not really have asked for a better outcome.

                         Paris - the Super Star of the Haras Naturel du Plessis Open Day 2012!

The next week was a course with 5* Parelli Professional Berni Zambail. Marie-Claire had arranged that Elvira and I could join the course - such an amazing gift I can't thank her enough! I learned absolutely buckets. Beni had me work on my energy, particularly my distinction between neutral even when I'm moving and having intention even when I'm still. The things he helped me with are really making a difference to everything I'm doing with all my horses. I got some more precision, strategies and confidence too. Berni had me use a clever pattern of slow trot fast trot slow trot to get Touria to offer the canter without bucking. It was the fist time I'd asked for her to canter with me on her since her massive bronc-fest! She did amazing and with Berni's help she was really motivated to move her feet forwards! Of course she is so smart that when I tried to repeat the pattern without Berni, each time she got a bit more sour and started to come up with new tricks to outsmart me. I can now do buck free canter transitions and am riding her in the halter again. She is also offering me so much online, she can do flying changed at the end of the 45 ft line and learned lead by the tail in one minute! She is an absolute genius!

                                         Berni showing me just what my horse really can do!

                     Getting the bucks out of Touria so we can have a safe and progressive ride!

Riva had 6 weeks off because she had an unlevness in her pastern joints which Isabelle, the vet, injected and we gave her plenty of rest. I played with her at liberty when she came back into "work" and she was leaping around a really showing off. I was able to play all of the seven games with her and actually got a better circle game than we've ever had online! she even gave me a change of direction with flying change! I've ridden her a little and we have built up our maintain canter to two laps of the arena in both directions! I'm very happy that we're back to making progress. Unfortunately I can't play with her at the moment as we have a Boot Camp and she is being partnered with one of the bootcampers. She managed to cut her lip open yesterday. It looks really ugly but I think it will heal quickly enough. I'm keeping it clean and checking it twice daily.

Gabi and I started to work together to play with Seth again. I was taking him to the playground and having him jump the big obstacles with the saddle on. He s so much better with the saddle you would not imagine! A couple of times he would start bucking when he went into canter. I could see that when he took the canter he would panick and say "I can't breathe" and then hold his breath and freak out. I kept asking him forward until he took a deep breath and cantered forward freely. Within two sessions he realised that if he did not hold his breath he could actually breathe just fine! and we had no more right brained bucking. In fact he got so confident that he did a few left brained bucks more like the ones Touria does. Gabi would play with Seth online whilst I rode him and we were pleased to discover he had not forgotten anything. He is a beautifully responsive and comfortable horse to ride, but he is very quick to move between left brain extrovert and right brain introvert and needs to be read constantly. On the second ride of our series I realised the theraflex valves were open and my mind wandered to trying to close them. Maybe my weight moved forward or he just felt my energy go out of harmony with him but he immediately resonded with a buck. it was actually pretty small but somehow i found myself going the worng way over his shoulder. As I fell I remember thinking "why on earth am i falling" I was rather annoyed with myself. I should have been able to sit that buck! I wasn't hurt and the next day we had an amazing session where Seth got so left brained and playful he started trying to bite Gabi's horse, Quimrahil. So we had him doing figure eights at the trot introducing more stearing and leadership from his back.

                       Playing with Seth in the playground in prior and proper preparation for riding!

Unfortunately my progress with Seth was brought to a halt....

I was driving home from Church and 10 minutes from the Plessis I was hit by a strong cross wind that took my car out of my control. It span and came off the road onto a slope where it rolled over completely. It landed on the passenger side and I was trapped inside hanging from my seat belt. As the car had been rolling I rememeber thinking "I'm going to die" but it was more of a fact. I was very calm about it. When the car stopped I was still conscious and I said to myself "I'm not broken". I managed to twist myself so my feet would land on the grass (where my passenger window was smashed to smithereens) as I unclipped my seat belt. The windscreen had a large cracked up patch but was still whole. I tried to open the driver's door above my head but the frames were bent up and I could not do it. I didn't try for long because I decided to look through the mess that was everything that had been in my car to try to find my mobile phone and call for help. Just then some people descended upon my car talking french. One man began smashing my windscreen as another pulled my drivers door from the outside. I pushed from inside and we managed to pop it open but then they decide it was too dangerous for me to climb up out of the car that way and they continued to rip the windscreen open so I could step out into safety. I picked up a few bits, including my paperwork and a kind, english speaking, french couple gave me a lift back to the Plessis where I told everyone what happened. No one could belive how bad my car was when I had been able to walk away relatively unscathed. They took me to hospital - an interesting experience - and I was x-rayed and diagnosed with low grade whiplash and told to wear a neckbrace for a week. Every body was incredibly kind and would not let me work for a whole week. When I did start work we were all careful to makesure I built it up slowly for my back and neck muscles to be able to strengthen appropriately. I was so so unbelievably happy when I could ride and play again. Seth, however, has decided that he still needs more time off and has yet another abcess. I'm looking forward to progressing him undersaddle again as soon as his abcess is better.

                                                                     My poor car!

I have returned to my program of zone 5 driving with Paris and it is going so well that the otherday we could do the figure 8 pattern from zone 5 at liberty! He has made such an incredible step forward with the bidle - he actually takes the bit willingly now. We just need to build to where he can lower his head because he is resistent to the porcupine game at the moment! And we have begun doing fluid rein which I have found out is actually an incredible link between freestyle riding and finesse. He is discovering a better way to use himself and I am excited that we may finally, for the first time in years, be able to build some real topline!

I'm having a holiday soon - I'll be going home to the UK on 23rd May so that I can see my family and go to my sister's wedding in Italy. I am really looking forward to seeing everyone. It's certainly going to be an eventful adventure!

oh and ofcourse I need to mention my devastating loss! Elvira left here at the end of March, and so did Rianne. The team was suddenly a lot smaller and the house a lot quieter. I have adjusted but not slept so well and I do really miss my buddy! I was looking forward to seeing Elvira when I went home because the plan was that she would come to my sister's wedding but with the car crash and a series of unfortunate circumstances that can't happen now. Hopefully I will see her in the summer!

It will certainly be interesting to see how things progress with my horses and how Plessis life will change with the conclusion of the Bootcamp! Watch this space!

From left to right - Jasmijn with Taspo, Elvira and Bertie, Me and Paris, Mathilde and Lorrest, Laura and Peppy, photo taken by Rianne Dekker - A fun and beautiful group trailride!