It's a Plessis Christmas!

We had a fantastic Christmas.

Here it is usual to have the big Christmas dinner on Christmas eve so we all assembled in Marie-Claire's kitchen and each made a few things of our own to bring to the festivities. I introduced them all to pigs in blankets and made the roast potatoes and parsnips - very yummy if i do say so myself! Marie-Claire roasted a goose, i had helped her stuff it earlier in the day with chicken liver, pork, apricots, chestnuts, raisins and spices and it was really delicious. Gabi made a delicious pumpkin, celery and potato mash. we had oysters and various appetisers. Cindy made a delicious apple and goat cheese stater in little filo pastry wraps and Rianne made a delicious marangue. by the end of the night we were all stuffed and managed to roll home to bed. We had an extra hour in bed on christmas day and then worked all morning. In the afternoon i spent some undemanding time with Paris and then baked mince pies. i never bake normally and i was very impressed that they worked and actually tasted good!


Paris rolled on boxing day, which was his present to me, letting me know he was healthy and ready to play. with the cold and the dark really rolling in now i have only been playing with one or two horses a day, which is rubish but i'm sure only temporary! This week has been very interesting with Paris. i filmed my audition for my progress report on monday. i thought i had time to do it in the morning and had him almost all the way to the stables when i realised i had to cook lunch! i was gutted. he was really giving me green lights that he was in a great mood for a play session after a week off! i put him in one of the main stables, next to Marie-Claire's horse Zippy so he was in a more secure box with company. i gave him hay and just hoped he would be ok and settle down. he was pretty emotional and when i came to get him he was sweated up and really tense. so i let him loose in the arena and he just cantered around, flitting between left brain and right brain extrovert, getting playful and then freaking out at his own adrenaline! he began playing his favourite game of running in to me and then dashing off in another direction. i sent him around until he had moved his feet enough to appreciate a break with me. i then popped the 45 ft line on so he could move out and go on a pattern to engage the left side of his brain more and to really release all the pent up tension and energy. he jumped a massive fence i had popped up, which i had put gymnastic balls under as crazy fillers, cantered a figure eight with flying changed and moved around like a dream. Elvira came in to film me for the audition and i decided to show the 45ft line work before the zone 5 driving as iknow once he came off of the adrenaline he would be tired after all his effort! he did a pretty amazing demonstration of how light, responsive and athletic he is on a 45 ft line. i then popped the 12 ft line on him and di some friendly game from zone 5. i was not happy with it because i could tell he was not 100% and he is usually a lot better but on this day he was just tolerating it and he was incapable of doing lead by the tail whilst i did helicopter from zone 5, something we can normally do! we managed to show our one rein figure eights from zone 5 at walk and trot with some transitions and eventually even a little back up. it was a shame we couldn't film our best but we did a good job to get him calm enough and connected enough to do as well as we did and he really tried his heart out!

The next time i went to play with him he was not so happy to come with me so i climbed into the hayrack where Anna was reading a book outloud to Kalhua. I listened as she translated it from German to English and we chilled together and soon Paris came to my side and was grazing near me. eventually i got up and went to look at a fence that had fallen down and he follwed me and looked ready to come wiht me. i felt our connexion was a tenuous one, and i did not want to ruin the trust i had built, but i did want to keep up our program and not fall into a fear trap of not doing anything for fear of losing what he had. so i haltered him and lead him on foot toward the stables. he took on the zombie look, glassy eyed and robotic, so i surprised him and put his rope on his neck and allowed him to be at liberty. he turned toward the youngster stable and i decided to experiment and see what happened if i just allowed him to go where he wanted. he walked over to the gate of the youngsters and watched them for a bit and then turned to me as if to say "ok, i'm ready now". we walked together toward the stable for a bit but the temptation to eat grass got too strong for him. i allowed a few bites before i decided to ammend the rules a little and picked up the very end of the rope so he could not get in too much trouble. we then headed toward the saddle horse pasture and played a sqeeze game under the wire that is supposed to stop Origan gong onto the main road. Paris met Origan there and then strolled happily wih me all the way to the outdoor arena. there he stopped a few times. each time he stopped i backed him a few steps and then walked on and he went quite a bit further. i brushed him at the arena rail, not wanting to put him in any boxes after his recent experiences, and then i took him in to the tack room where i saddled him before i played online. he did a cool stick to me and seemed connected enough so i mounted and played pushing passenger at walk then trot then canter. i started changing my passenger to where i kept him on the rail, only correcting him when he came off. it was my plan to do fluid rein to prepare him for the game of contact but he got racey in the canter, even taking me over the little jumps in the arena, so i put him on the bow tie pattern and was very particular about the disengagment part - he really sgame me a few nice simple changes! then i asked Elvira how she started out with fluid rein and she told me she started with game of contact principles at the halt. i did this and once Paris gave me a really positive "reins mean go" response i jumped off. i really think he will do great with this!

I only took Riva on a trail ride this week. in my progress report i was told i really need to work on my lateral balance but they can see i am trying. it is worst with Riva so I really tried, the whole time we were riding, to keep balanced.

I have worked with Gabi with Seth this week and i have been on him. it has been amazing, i have gotten much better at knowing what i'm looking for, feeling for him and improving my timing. when i'm on him Gabi has him online but i am doing more and more so he is really getting the chance to understand communication from a rider, rather than get freaked out by it. we have been doing walk trot and halt, direct and indirect rein, and even a few steps of back up. Gabi said he looks ready for canter but we won't go there yet!

I did more follow the leader with Touria, she got rather cranky when she had a herd member behind her but she kept her responsibility of following the horse in front. Marie-Claire has really helped me have more feel and timing in my send, yoyo and driving game online and she has such a sweet attitude now! we even managed to go for a trail ride and when she threated to buck when i asked for trot i just bent her and then asked her to trot on. she soon worked out i would just bend her and she stopped being so crabby and trotted nicely. she is a fascinating little horse and i'm looking forward to her really understanding what is going on and being able to go back to the halter!


goal planning and other preparations are underway for new years which is this weekend - it should be cool!

hope everyone had a great Christmas and i wish you all a Happy New Year!! 

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!

This week has been a lo of fun!

Last Friday we woke up after a night of torrential rain and gale force winds to find a lake outside our house! We all ran outside in our pyjamas and put our coats and wellies on to stand in the water and take pictures! it was the bizarrest thing ever! no one felt much like serious horseplay so we got the horses and played in the water with them! Anna pulled out some santa hats she had cut holes into and we did a christmas photo shoot in the lake!

On the weekend I played with Paris - his zone five driving was going so well that we were doing figure eights in trot, doing transitions and he really was starting to play with me there. I rode him a little too, playing with my transitions using the corners game - which he really got! and I even got brave enough to jump the barrels! we even did it in the bareback pad once!

Unfortunately on Monday Paris had an incident in the stident stalls. I'm not sure how he did it, he might had tried jumping out, but he managed to rip the top layer of hair and skin off of a large are across and around his gaskin and inner thigh. It was not a major wound but he was sore on it and didn't roll all week which tells me he was not comfortable! this is the dirtiest horse i've ever met, he's not happy if he's not rolling! so last night when i fed him and saw he had rolled i was so happy i hugged his neck! I've never looked forward to grooming him so much!

Marie-Claire made the decision this week that she wants to watch me ride every day from now on. So this week i rode Riva and Touria on alternate days. They are both doing great online, it's a lot more like a conversation with both of them rather than heated discussions or the cold shoulder!

With Touria I am riding her in the snaffle with horseman's reins and slobbers and we just do follow the leader and a lottle indirect rein. it's been going well and we have even been trotting again! I have  a lot to think about and it is great having Marie-Claire really help me with my technical correctness. I realise I have a lot of habbits from so much time without instruction. i guess that's the danger of a home study program! I am really trying hard to be clear and fair with the reins - it is a good experience for me to learn how to use the bit again too!

With Riva I am really focusing on my postition in the saddle - which is really crooked! I have also been practising riding figure eights without reins, and learning how to ride accurate and correct bow tie patterns at the walkand trot. I certainly give marie-claire a lot to say! but i am learning loads and really look forward to my daily lessons with her!

Seth was off work for a week due to an absess in his hind foot. he is back now and this week i have worked with Gabi - we played with saddling Seth and yesterday I mounted him and we did friendly games with my legs and Gabi moved him around so he would fell my weight moving and shifting and my leg aids for indirect rein. it was the coolest thing ever to be part of such a big step for a horse that has had such a complicated history in accepting the saddle and rider!


This week has been all about getting ready for christmas. Earlier in the week everyone made cookies. i helps roll pastry and cut cookies but i did not get involved in the making dough process. finally i got brave enough to offer to try to bake traditional mince pies! so last night i made a "mince meat" of mixed fruits and spices - it tastes gorgeous! now i just have to make the pastry and bake the pies!

I went brach picking with Rianne and Marie-Claire this week too and we made beautiful table decorations! i made a massive one!


last night was the first time that the girls and i went out to a real night club together! we had to go an hour to find one in Blois! It was club mix night and we rocked the dance floor like it's never been rocked before! all the rench people could tell we were not native because we were having far too much fun!! all the girls looked gorgeous and quite a few french guys were hovering around! it was a lot of fun! I had a nice dance with a cute French guy called Frederic but the best part of the night was dancing like a crazy thing with the girls! the club owner liked us and gave us free entry and cloakroom and we drank water all night which was free so all in all it worked out to be a very cheap and fun night!

Home and Away

So it has been five incredibly crazy weeks since I last blogged!

So it's pretty hard remebering what I did with the horses five weeks ago. My best session was on the Thursday because I decided to play with Paris only and have fun before I left to go home. I wanted him to have a great time with me to think about for the 10 days I was away. It felt really weird knowing I would be leaving him and not seeing him for so long! I took him down to the playground and we played online. He loves racing up the earth mounds and back down again and when I asked for a change of direction he would leap with his legs flying and changed the lead and raced off in the other direction throwing his head about exuberantly. I put the theraflex and bareback pad on him and mounted him and we trotted all over the play ground, up and down the earth mounds and over logs and then we cantered circles of varying sizes. Marie-Claire gave me a few pointers to help with my fluidity and I was really happy with how Paris remained connected at the higher gaits in such a large space. I ended the play session with some haunches in along the fence line. Marie-Claire had been giving lessons during the week and explaining how simple it was to teach haunches in naturally on a casual rein. I loved using psychology and the seven games to teach dressage exercises. I took Paris for a stroll down the paddock paradise so I could spend some undemanding time with my youngsters before I left. I had been able toplay with virtually all my horses in the days before so they had earned a rest. Riva had become a lot more confident and was starting to be a lot more LBI so have been playing with her finding rest and relaxation on the pedastal with all four feet. Seth had learned lead by the tail so quickly I couldn't believe it and he was now brave enough to walk, trot, canter and jump with a curcingle at the girth, at the flank, and a bareback pad on. i had also fashioned two savvy strings and a carot stick to make a commotion on his flanks at the trot! Touria had started to leap a leg over the 45 ft line and then take off because she knew I couldn't hold her. I had discussed this problem with Marie-Claire and Gabi and between us we had a number of ideas. I realised that if she respected me disengaging her hind quarters at phase one, I'd be able to stop her every time she got a leg over. also I put a second rope on her to hang between her legs so she would discover that I could still have control. I also taught her to lead by the leg so she would yeild to the pressure if the rope got around her leg. Most importantly I really matched her energy and threw so many games at her in quick succession and really backed her up and moved her forequarters in order to build respect. She was still too direspectful to ride without expecting a bronc! Marie-Claire also wanted me to teach Touria to accept the bridle so that I would have a more effective phase four for bending her when she got dominant and bracey. I used mollases and had her just wear the bridle - she was not afraid of the bridle but found it very annoying that she couldn't eat with the bit. After I gave each of my babies a rub and a carrot I took Paris back up to the layground because the trailer had been left open and as I climbed inside to close the partitions Paris stepped up onto the ramp and tried to follow me in. I let him loose for a while to roll in the long grass and have a nibble and he stayed with me. Then I took Paris up to the stables and rasped his fett, re-establishing his mustang roll before I left. As I sat with Paris as he ate his evening bucket I felt so happy to have just been able to spend so much time with him. He really is just the most amazing horse ever.

Katie was getting better and then worse, almost on a daily basis. The conversation as to wheter it would be kinder to put her to sleep was had several times and so I did wonder whether she would still be with us when I got back from my trip. When I left, Katie had gone off of her food and was easily tired, she was being sick and weeing indoors a lot. Every time we thought it was too much for her she would perk up and want to go for a play and hunt mice, digging like crazy. It was too hard to decide to end her life when she still clearly had moments of joy and happiness.

On the morning of Friday 18th November my alarm clock woke me up at 5 am, having only finished packing and gone to sleep at 1 am. I put my suitcases and bike in the car and drove up to the main house to make a packed lunch for the journey and to write a message to everyone. I had agreed that Rianne could play with Paris whilst I was away and have lessons from Gabi and Marie-Claire in freestyle. I felt a little nervous leaving him in the hands of another, although I knew Rianne would be very kind to him.

As I headed off on the road toward the motorway it was dark and misty. I followed the directions of my sat-nav which managed to directed on and back off of the motorway three times before i ignored it and followed the signs for Paris. in the course of the sat-nav diversions I drove through some rather strange and wonderful parts of France I hadn't expected to see! Finally I was back on the motorway, in and out of fog, desperately trying to make up time to reach the port for check in. On the A86 into Paris I hit a "bouchon" - traffic jam! I lost almost an hour on the sat-nav and was starting to get very aggitated. Finally the road ahead cleared and I floored it, going as fast as my little car would allow. I watched my fuel gauge drop and reach the point where I decided to stop at the next petrol station. I spotted one but I was in the outside lane at the time and the french drivers in the inside lane were in the way of me moving over. I wasn't too worried - I had enough petrol to get the next station. Or so I thought. Finally, as my fuel needle was on the red I spotted a petrol station I pulled in all happy and relieved and then my stomach dropped... it hadn't finished being built yet! I parked my car beside the building site and looked around, panicking a little and wondering what I should do. As I looked up and across the motorway I saw another petrol station directly opposite! I grabbed the petrol can I always kep in my car and headed through the bushes at the side of the rode. I waited for a massive gap in the traffic and sprinted across to the central reservation, grabbing my jeans, which were a size too big for me now, to stop them falling down. I jumped over the central reservation and waited for the traffic on the other side to clear, lorry drivers bibbed their horns at me as they passed by. Finally there was a big enough gap and I sprinted to the other side. Here there was a massive wooded steep bank and I threw myself up it, worrying that if i slipped down i would roll out onto the motorway! Finaly I broke through the trees at the top and found myself in the deserted forecourt of a petrol station. I filled up my little can, wondering if it would be enough to get me to the next petrol station on my side of the motorway, and headed into the shop. I felt a bit awkward walking into a building with a can of petrol but the cashier did not seem at all bothered. I felt better as I slid down the bank toward the motorway, managing to halt in time to wait for the passing traffic to clear. I cleared the central reservation and ran across the other side, heading for the bushes closest to my car and almost trod on a dead rabbit at the side of the rode! I leapt over it and through the bushes and jogged over to my car. I pulled the bashed up funnel out of my car and poured the petrol into the tank.

I jumped into my driving seat and turned the key but my car made a pathetic whimper and died. I panicked and looked and saw that my lights had been on from the fog and in the time i had got petrol my battery had gone flat. I thought quickly and grabbed my jump cables and decided to head to the building site to look for help. I saw a car leaving the building site and I waved my hands to flag him down in the universal symbol for "damsel in distress". A french man in a hi-vi got out of his car and I said "tu aidee moi si vous plait?" and held up the jump cables. He parked his car near mine and I popped the bonnet. He fumbled around for a while tried to find the catch but was unable. finally I stepped in and unhooked it and had the bonnet up in less than a second. The man then inspected everything under my bonnet, touching the caps and things like all men do when they are pretending they know what they're looking at. He gestured for me to turn the car on and I did. It coughed another pathetic whimper of an effort to start before giving up completely. He nodded and said "je suis turnee mon vehicule" and turned his car to face mine. Before he even had his bonnet up I had hitched up the jump cables to my battery. He looked at what I had done and fiddled around as if to correct it but made no difference what so ever and then hooked the cables to his battery. he started his car and i turned my key and my car rumbled back into life. I was so happy I said "merci beacoup!" he said "bon voyage" and drove off as the hero.

I jumped in my car, having lost another half hour and desperately needing to make up the time to reach Calais. Again I was racing as fast as my car to take me to the nearest petrol station where I filled up before racing to the port.

When I reached the port I got confused trying to find the check in. i followed a car that seemed to know where it was going but as it drove past armed guards i stopped. I was heading into a military area! I turned around and found the correct check in only to be told by a oman with a very strong french accent that my ferry would not be sailing and I needed to pick up a ferry from Dunkerque. I was furious but managed to not take it out on her, it was not her fault, she was only doing her job but I was determined to write a strongly worded email to Sea France! My Sat-Nav told me I would reach Dunkerque in half an hour but as I was one minute from my "destination" I realised I was going to Dunkerque centre, not Dunkerque port. In a way it was good because the port is really ugly but the town centre is actually very beautiful and it changed my opinion on the town but I was desperate to get the 2 o'clock crossing and it was fast getting too late. Finally, I arrived at the port in time to watch the 2 o'clock ferry sail out without me and I had to wait 2 hours for the next one. The crossing was painfully boring.

once I disembarked the ferry I headed homeward and decided to go straight to the stables to see if I could surprise my friend Hayley. We had told her that I would be home on the Sunday so I could surprise her. Unfortunatley, due to my nightmare journey and late arrival she was not at the stables. I called her and asked for her address and in her shock at hearing my voice she gave it to me before asking why. i said never you mind, it's a surprise!" she asked me what time i'd be home on sunday and i said i didn't know. five minutes later i got a call from her and she said "you're in the uk aren't you?!", "no" i fibbed, she said"well I'm not at my house!" I had been sussed. So I asked her where she was and she said she was doing a cleaning job. I told her where I was and she screamed "I'm just around the corner!" before I knew it I had a crying Hayley hugging me. It was amazing how I had ended up accidently arriving at her place of work!

Saturday I met my Mum's new horse, Belle. She has gone halves with our yard owner, Jane and they are sharing a beautiful thoroughbred cross black mare. She is very left brained but has some confidence issues. I found it very interesting how she was only happy when she was in your space with her shoulder. If you sent her further away she became tense and you could not do a friendly game. She would rear a lot too. It was really cool playing with her - we both learned from it and in the end I had her relaxed on the circling game with me in a moving neutral position (she had been worried about the human looking at her, i think from her past of being lunged). I wanted to be able to turn with her because eventually my aim would be to be able to do friendly game in motion. I was looking forward to seeing my friend Hayley again but she ddn't turn up and the morning got later and later - we found out that because of all the hourse she was working (getting 3-4 hours sleep a night!) that exhaustion had kicked in and she had fallen asleep in her caravan at her horses. We went their after lunch armed with wheel barrows to surprise her by poopoicking her fields, because we knew how hard it must have been for her to keep on top of it with the crazy hours she'd been working. That night my sister Lizzie, her fiance Marco, Hayley, Steve, Georgia, me, Mum and Dave all had a cool night in. We ate chinese take away and spent the night talking, telling stories and catching up on the last few months. It was a brilliant night. for the third night in a row I climbed into bed at 1 am!

On Sunday we went back to the stables and I played with Belle again. There was definately an improvment and she was more confident around me. Mum was playing with Havewe and Jane was playing with Jemma. They both were having a little trouble with their figure eights so I demonstrated what they needed to do with Belle and she was fantastic doing lovely walk figure eights. Mum still didn't quite get it and Havewe had learned a couple of assumptions so I did a short spell with Havewe and gave her back and Mum's figure eights were better. When I asked Jane how she was doing, she was really struggling to get Jemma to change direction. I asked if I could do it with her and I found that Jemma was really ignoring the invitation to change direction and so showed Jane how to go through her phases and how to use draw and rest to get Jemma interested in coming in. Hayley came over with Dash. I had gone with her to get him and he had been uncooperative as we brushed him, he lept marcing out of his stable or turning around. Hayley had not played with him for three weeks because of her work schedule and he was full of pent up frustration. As we headed out he really marched and even jogged, eager to go out and do something. Hayley had wanted to show me her bridleless riding but with him in this state it was not possible. As we went through the car park he got particularly spooky and forward and then a horse and rider came out of the bushes from the woods. Hayley said Dash must have known they were there. we walked down to my yard and Hayley asked me if I wanted to play with Dash. I was surprised beause I thought she'd be looking forward to playing with him and I'd been looking forward to seeing the cool stuff she can now do but she was so tired still. Also I would never turn down an oppertunity to play with a horse so I said yes. Dash is an extreme LBI, he does have a sesitive RBI side but on this day he was completely ignoring me. I could feel as soon as i asked him to move that he was annoyed that I was doing something with him. I really believe he has an amazing bond with Hayley, who has had him since a foal, and he had been looking forward to playing with her. Now some girl who he remember not being very good was asking him to do stuff. the cheek of it! I asked him to move sideways from zone one and he planted his feet. I went through my phases and swung the savvy sting at his hind quarters and he turned and took off. This was a trick he would do with Hayley too. he would run off and then turn and come straight back as if to say "You can't make me!". Luckily I had practice with this technique from Touria so I had learned to really run with the horse and put pressure on zone four to disengage. Unfortunately we had a van parked in the arena and he ran around it so I could not hold him any longer and he was running loose. I changed tactics to keeping him running and uncomfortable until he really asked me for permission to come in. it took what felt like ages because he got a bit emotional at having pressure put on him in this was and he flipped between would not look at me to could not look at me. As soon as he started to look at me i dropped the pressure and ran backwards. a couple of times he ran past me so i put the pressure back on but the third time he came straight to me. we rested together, i wanted to let him know that being with me was a nice thing for him. I took him out of the arena to a grazing spot and told Hayley I would not do any more with him. i was sure she would want to play with him, which she did, and with him being emotional about me polaying with him we would not get a very progressive session and it would serve no benefit to her relationship with him. I think at the time Hayley, and the others on the yard, were quite shocked at seeing what looked like me just chasing around a horse. it wasn't pretty at all. I think they understood my explanaition of what happened and why i did what i did. The thing is, I don't know what i would hve done differently - i know if a horse pulled loose from me like that i would do that again! i'm sure Dash was shocked that his favourite trick had back fired but it was a bit worrying when this big powerful horse was motoring full pelt towards the arena rail! For that reason giving him the ultimate reward for finding me seemed to be the best result we could hope for that day! After this I went and got Oscar. He is and IDxTB that was living in Paris' stable. His owner, George, was having trailer loading trouble with him and was planning on moving yards on the Wednesday week. He had asked me if i would play with Oscar and teach George how to load him. I said I would see what we could do in the time I had. I was excited to play with George. I always am so curious how things will work out in my first play session with a horse. Oscar had a surprise in store for me. When I caught him he followed the feel on the halter nicely so I made a mental note - porcupine not too bad. once we were in the arena I started the friendly game and he leapt into a massive trot and began circling me as if i were lunging him. it became apparant that his answer to everything i did was lunge - and faster! I used the arena wall as a pattern interupt to get him to realise going forward on a circle was not the answer and he needed to kick his brain in. He was afraid of the carrot stick and string, but also innately left brained and so he would come at me with his head as high as it would go to try and intimidate the thing he was afraid of. he did not understand the driving game or any of the seven games at all! It was the first time i had played with a horse who really did not understand ANY of the games. normally a left brained horse would be ok with friendly but nothing else and a right brained horse would be driveable but have not friendly game. By the end of the session he had found some relaxation with the friendly game and had made some preogress on disengaging his hind quarters.
That night I visited my Dad and Alison and Hannah. It was a really nice evening, we really talked and enjoyed each other's company.

On Monday I played with Oscar again. We were still building on his confidence with the friendly game and I realised I had a real massive job ahead of me to be trailer loading this horse by Saturday! My Mum wanted to play with Belle and I did my best to give her guidance without taking over, as was my tendency!
That night I met up with my old school friend John. My Mum drove the bus he took to work and got his contact details for me as we had lost touch for nearly 5 years! we had been emailing each other and arranged to meet up. I met him at the train station and we caught the train to Lonon Bridge. He had planned to take me iceskating at the Tower of London. It was an amazing night. We were in the last slot, 9-10 pm, and there was hardly any one else there - just another two couples. one pair were better on the ice, the other not. We had a fun hour. I almost made it through without falling until i got cocky and tried jumping on the ice. it was ok from a stand still but when i tried jumping whilst moving my legs went out from under me and i landed square on my backside! much to Johns amusement! We found a pub after. I'm not drinking alcohol so i was on the red bull to stay awake! we realised the bar was a gay pub but it was a nice atmosphere and we stayed there until closing time. we headed back to John's place and i met his housemates. we hung out and had bacon sandwiches at 2 am. i tried to sleep on John's futon but it was so uncomfortable that I couldn't sleep and just listened to him snoring and then got up at 6 am and he came on the bus and took me home. It was great meeting up with him, a lot of fun and it reminded me just what a good friend he can be. So I was exhausted on Tuesday.

Mum had a private lesson with amazing 1* PP Sara de Vries with Belle. I watched and learned a lot. i realised that i can be a bit too ready to correct now! I guess it's hard to get the balance right because not too long ago i'd have been to trusting that the horse would respond. I then went and got Oscar and tried to be really gentle with him, takingthe friendly game back to basics and then offered him the touch it pattern. Suddenly he came alive and ripped the rope out my hand, really hurting my arm. I was too tired to be emotionally fit and i felt my emotions coming up. i knew i would not be able to deal with him as i wanted so i walked out of the arena and sat at the picnic table and cried. i asked my mum to play with Oscar and she just got him calm and doing touch its and then let him loose whilst we had a cup of hot beanie and ome lunch and talked about it. mum simply asked me what was going on. as i described Oscar being left brained but afraid of the carrot stick i remembered my mum feeding Paris carrots with the end of the carrot stick. i decided to try that and it worked. soon Oscar was seeking out the carrot stick and mouthing it curiously. i felt much better about how we had turned the session around and that i had had the mental fitness to walk away when my emotions came up.

Tuesday night I met my old school Friend Rachel. She was my best friend at school and went to Oxford and has become a psychologist. we chatted about lots of things that had happened over the past years, and about religion. Rachel is so cool, i'm so glad we can meet up after years apart and our friendship is just as strong.

I actually went to bed at 11 pm which was positively early in my book!

On Wednesday guess what.. more stables! We had put the horsbox in the arena and George came and watched my first loading session with Oscar. I used reverse psychology, comfort and pressure, retreat and re-approach to build his confidence and he soon found a safe spot with his front feet on the ramp of the trailer. he showed me he had a threshold at his back feet. I explained eveything i was doing and had to be able to adjust quicly as Oscar flipped between unconfident and dominant/playful. at one point he kicked out at me. it was only because i was the length of the carrot stick away from him that i wasn't hurt. i felt his hoof land on my stomach and had a muddy print on my top but it did not hurt at all as i had been at the very end of his reach. i was very firm with him and did not give him the oppertunity to do it again!

Wednesday night i met up with John again. He came to my house and had shepherds pie with us (my Mum makes the most amazing shepherds pie!) before we headed to the London Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The temple was beautiful, such a peaceful energy and full of warmth and happiness. John did not feel the same and ended up staying in my car whilst i spoke to the missionaries and watched a four minute film by the previous prophet. I did not stay long, but it was long enough to give me a spiritual energy boost. I went with John and we found a local pub so he could have a drink and we could chat. He had had the very opposite response to the Temple than i had - he had found it opprssive and offensive! i was surprised by the strength of his aversion but thanked him for supporting me anyway and we decided not to talk more about the matter as it could not go well. We enjoyed the rest of our evening together and i crashed at his place again.

Thursday morning i got home just before my sister lizzie turned up. We got dressed up and went to Harrods for the day and had afternoon there. it was nice to spend time with my little sister and to feel like ladies for a change but i really am not into shopping and my feet were hurting after a little while. We (Mum, Lizzie and I) went to see the new Twilight film at the cinema. it was cool to have such a girly day for once.

On Friday I was back to the trailer loading program with Oscar. Having discovered his inconfidence in zone 4 and 5 I started by backing him over a pole until he understood the idea and was able to think about what his back feet were doing. I then played the squeeze game over the ramp and he was able to walk across it with all four feet but he was still only able to put his front feet on the ramp facing in. i was getting very concerned that i only had one day left to load this horse and we felt a long way from getting there! but i could not make things go faster. i noticed our porcupine game had deteriorated so i ended our session by addressing that.

My sister Lizzie had organised a girls night at our house - another tea party - to discuss her hen night. it was very pleasant and after her friends and inlaws had left Haylaey stayed and we hung out together.

On Saturday my mum was back to work. Georgia came to meet me at my house so i could take her to the stables. I had also arranged to meet William, my old primary school friend. i had warned him that a long cold day at the stables was in store for him! He turned up with the coolest Austin 1100 (named Bertie) and we headed to the stables (in my car - i could not do that to poor Bertie!). Will and Georgia watched as I trailer loaded Oscar. The preparations I had done with Oscar paid off as within 10 minutes he had all four feet on the ramp and within half of an hour he was loading completely. the poor boy was so scared but trying so hard, his legs were shaking! I left him alone and allowed him to come out when ever he wanted and relaxed with him. soon he was loading beautifully and we filmed him so that his owner, George, could see it.

I then went with Will to his house and met his performing budgies! he demonstrated all of his instruments and i had so much fun! we then went back to my house where my mum had made another shepherds pie, knowing how much i love it! Hayley was also there. Mum took Will's car for a drive around the block - she said it was closure because her first driving lesson had been in an Austin 1100 and she had crashed it into her neighbours car! luckily she didn't crash Will's car! It was horrible saying good bye to Will. it had been so long - over 5 years since we'd met and now it would be another 4 months before we could meet again. Hayley was the hardest person to say bye too though. I love her so much, she really is amazing!

Sunday morning i began my return trip to France - I actually managed to get a slighlty earlier ferry but it was going to Dunkerque. i raced back to the Plessis as fast as i dared and managed the journey from door to door in 11 hours - a record time and 3 hours faster than my journey home!

ok it will be easier to deal with the last few weeks by categories -

Touria

Touria has been vey interesting for me. After seeing the bronking firast hand Marie-Claire feared a little for my safety and decided it would be a good idea to introduce Touria to the snaffle bridle so I have a more effective phase four for bending her in emergency situations. So I started to focus on getting respect on the ground and introducing her to the bit with mollases. at first she was really good with it but then she worked out what i was doing (at least worked out the bridle was coming) and has become more difficult to bridle.  I'm now, having looked over some footage and been reminded of some basic principles, taking more time on the matter and treating her with more dignity. I realised that I am starting to not want to play with her unless i get my energy up and am "ready for battle" - horsemanship is not about that! so i know i am going in with the wrong attitude. yesterday i went in to our play session ready to be soft and really put my heart in my hand for her and only go up in energy to match her when she did. we had a really nice session and i felt our connection start coming back - in moments like that it's really hard to imagine leaving her behind when i go home! i did ride her the other day in the halter - she would barely move at all! i had to spank myself before she would walk and then she would stop. so LBI! in the end i had a small trot so i jumped off to reward her effort because, coming from where the session started i could not see us getting more without an argument! i also rode her the other day with the snaffle bridle. i just practiced lateral flexion, direct and indirect rein in it at the walk because i want her to really understand the bit. i also ended that session with a small trot. i'm much more hopeful now about our progress in the future!

Riva

Riva can canter the left lead! when i got back from my trip home she was able to do it! she still picks up the wrong lead quite a lot but if i keep asking her to go she corrects herself with a flying change! she has been going really well under saddle too and i am refining our steering with figure eights without reins. she is getting much more confident in the indoor arena now too. I'm very proud of my beautiful girl and she is teaching me a lot about my technical freestyle riding which will, ironically, help me with Paris!

Seth

Seth has been a champion. I have been doing all kinds of crazy friendly games in motion with him to build his confidence in zone 4 and 5 and with motion on his flanks. this week we finally saddled him and it was pretty much a non-event - he was walk trot canter and jumping just the same with a saddle as without. but last time i played with him i had the feeling he was physically uncomfortable and the next day he was really lame with a hoof absess. he is now poulticed on box rest! he is already much better and needs to go for small walks to stop his legs swelling and soon he will be back in action. it's weird though - this happens everytime he is about to start being ridden!

Paris

Online has been amazing - Paris is getting so good at standing on the pedestal with four feet. i didn't realise he was actually really confident with it until Anna told me off for nagging him at phase 2.5 so i went through my phases more clearly and bing! he stood all four feet on it! little prankster was pretending like "you sure two feet aren't enough?" i really am finding him doing so much more LB behaviour these days! We're doing a lot more driving from zone 5 now too. it's so cool, he can do walk trot halt and backup, direct and indirect rein, porcupine the hind quarters over, and i can now do figure eights from zone 5 WITH ONE REIN so proud!
He trailer loaded at liberty the other day. WE were playing stick to me and i just ran towards the trailer and he went in! it was the first time we'd done trrailer loading here! and he wouldn't come out. i went off for 10 miutesm came back and he was still in there, i got his food bucket and he still wouldn't come out until i opened the arena gate and walked out with his bucket!
Freestyle he has been doing amazing - he really seems to understand haunches in on a loose rein and can even do it for quite a few strides on each rein! He really got the corners game the other day, i did it at trot then went into canter and i kissed him past 3 corners then did the "universal noise for stopping" at the fourth corner and he halted from a canter so fast i almost came off! i thought it was brilliant! a few weeks ago we had a full moon and i rode Paris on a mid-night trail ride over the farms with the bareback pad. it was so magical!

Katie

Poor Katie was still with us when i got back but she was really starting to not enjoy life so much. she didn't even ant to get up to go to the toilet and we had to carry her in her basket a lot of the time. she wouldn't even lift her head. so we made the decision to put her to sleep. it was hard and we all said our good byes. we gave her a nice bone and cuddled her and made sure she knew she was loved. it was said but i found myself smiling as i imagined her over the rainbow bridge, running around, free of pain and digginf holes, chasing mice like the young dog she must once have been. it was hard to be sad when i knew she was about to be so much better off.

Church

When I was at home in England I realised how hard it would be to make it a custom of going to church on Sundays. I also didn't make time to read my scriptures or pray much and I found myself feeling more confused and apprehensive about my baptism. I was even beginning to have thoughts about asking for it to be postponed. But on the long drive home I had plenty of time to think. I had read from the Book of Mormon on the ferry and I realised that even though it is going to be hard to make the changes at home, they are changes i want to make! i know what i believe and I knew I wanted to be baptised! It was amazing how as i got closer to the Plessis I felt the confusion leave me and clarity and decisivness take over.

Elvira's friend had sent me a beautiful dress to wear for the baptism. I hang it up from our curtain rail so the wrinkles could fall out and i could look at it more. The missionaries called me once i'd got back and arranged for me and Elvira to meet them for a final lesson and chance to plan the baptism. i'd asked Elvira's parents to do talks and Elvira's brother to do the baptism its self. Really I wanted Elvira to baptise me because I really feel so greatful to her that we met and I got to find this new direction in my life. As Elvira does not hold the priesthood she couldn't do it and as she had told me so much about her brother Christiaan I decided it felt like a good idea to ask him. i thought about it for a little while and the more i did the more it felt right.

It was cool to meet up with the missionaries one last time in St Aignan. Unfortunatley Elder Howe had been transferred - he had originally been my choice for the baptism but i guess things worked out differently - who knows why? i met the new missionary, Elder Gunter and we ended up doing our "lesson" in a kebab shop! we couldn't help but laugh at the randomness of our meeting places! we have had lessons on the steps of a chateau, carpark benches, behind a church, all over St Aignan really! We arranged for my baptismal interview to take place in Loche on the Friday morning. In usual style me and Elvira arrived late to find four missionaries standing outside the Loche bus station. i was introduced to the french speaking missionary from Tahiti who would be conducting the interview, and the American missionary who would be translating for us. We found a bench in a quiet side road and went through the questions. it was a simple test of my understanding of the principles of the church and what the covenants were that i intended to make with God. The interview went smoothly and I came away feeling good and excited that i was another step closer to getting baptised. The missionaries had almost two hours before theius home was arriving so we walked around Loche with them, enjoying the town's medievil buildings and beautiful views.

On the Sunday Elvira and I attended church. I felt a lot more part of the activities, maybe because i now recognised people, maybe because i was familiar with the building and service format, but mostly because i knew i would be baptised and officially a member within a week!

That sunday was the first of the month which is usually a fasting day but Elvira and I had not planned it properly or prepared ourselves so we decided to do our own fasting day on Wednesday. Fasting was a lot easier than i had thought it would be - even with having to watch all the others cook and eat. knowing I was preparing myself for my baptism really gave me the strength to fast. it also did wonders for my diet!

On the Friday Elvira's family and Bas arrived. it had been a long journey and so we cooked them up a meal or veggie rice and dear mince meat. I offered them drinks as Elvira introduced her family to our other housemates. we had an enjoyable meal. the house was full of people talking Dutch! The evening got even better when we started making pancakes! it was a really happy, noisey, bustling family atmosphere until they had to leave. After the long drive here they still had another hour to drive to reach their hotel near the church.

After work on Saturday morning, Elvira and I went back to the house and got changed into civilian clothing. I prepared a rice salad and cocktail sausages for the nibbles after the baptism and packed the pre-cooked chicken wings and sweats that i had got the day before. we amazingly found the hotel with out too much difficulty and just over an hour after leaving the plessis were with Elvira's family again. We decided to go to the shops and pick up some food to make a meal on the sunday, and to look for a skirt for me to wear to church, and to have a meal before we headed to church. Supermarket shopping was funny, we split into groups and it was like Super Market Sweep! I was racing around! next we tried to find a skirt. there were a lot of clothes shops but apparantly the only skirts (or "jupes") for sale in France are tiny little ones!  and they seem to charge by the material and get more expensive the closer the skirt gets to the knee! so we gave up. i was yet again reminded that shopping is not a hobby of mine! we then went for a meal. it was a funny little restaurant called Flunch wear you ordered your meat and picked it up at the "bar" and then helped yourself to vegetables and rice and the self-service bar. i enjoyed a nice steak with mushroom sauce - i also tried roasted banana which was amazingly delicious! i felt so comfortable, joking around with Elvira's family and enjoyed every minute of our time together. Soon we were back at the hotel getting changed ready for the baptism. Elvira's mum came to me and asked me if i wanted her skirt! i was shocked! i knew she really meant it and that she would happily give it to me if i wanted it and her generosity had me speachless. i would normally have refused such a gift. i do not like to take gifts when i know i cannot return the favour and i do not want anyone to be disadvantaged for me. However, I knew that the skirt would be much more appropriate for wearing to church, especially after the baptism and for the confirmation. i did need a skirt and I felt like, somehow, refusing Margriet's gift would have been an insult to her kindness. I already felt such affection for her and this really highlighted what a special woman she really is. I gladly accepted the skirt and tried it on. i felt like a lady in it. it's amazing what clothing can do for our emotions and self-expression! Once we were all changed we headed off to the church. i put it in my sat-nav on my phone which almost immediately tried to make me turn left in a right turn only junction! it then tried to just send us around in a circle to do it again! and then my phone battery cut out and we were stuck! I pulled over and explained the problem to Elvira's dad, Hans. he put his sat nav on and lead the way and within 5 minutes we were at the church, just in time as the missionaries were starting to panick a little. I got changed into my white dress and the missionaries supplied Christiaan with white trousers. I liked my dress, it would have been nice to have had time to adjust it more but it was a real classic bapismal dress! I put my hair up in a bun because my hair had to be tied so that when i went under the water every part of me and my closthing had to go down too. if my hair had floated up i would have to be re-dunked! I really did not want that! Christiaan came out of his changing room looking, in my opinion, very charming all in white. he was moaning about the tie he had been leant which made me smile. Guys and ties... We had some photos taken and headed into the main service room. i sat at the front in the middle, Christiaan on my left, Elvira on my right and her parents behind us. At the last moment the other girls arrived. I smiled broadly at them, so happy to be able to share this moment with them all. i was in such a good mood, so very happy and excited.

Elvira did the opening prayer.

We all sang my favourite hymn (I don't know many yet!) "I am a child of God" and then Elvira's mum, Margriet stood to give her talk on the meaning of baptism. She had already told me her talk was directed more for people that knew nothing about the LDS faith in order to include the girls from the Plessis. I was glad she had because it made the talk so clear and easy to follow, it was informative, interesting and really explained the importance of the step i was about to take.

I then stood up and Christiaan and I lead the way to the font. I was guided in via the woman's facilities and when i walked through the door into the font Christiaan was already standing up to his waist in the water. I stepped in and smiled at the warm water, a little relieved as i had half expected it to be freezing cold! Christiaan smiled at me. I waded over and was glad that the bottom of my dress began to sink as it got wet, i had been worried it would be all floaty. i  stood in front of Christiaan and he told me to hold his arm and that i could hold my nose if I wanted to. He began reciting the baptismal prayer as i felt my heart thunder in my chest, it was easy to bend my knees a little as they were feeling a little weak with the excitment - i kept them bent a little so they would bend completely as i went down, i did not want my knees to lock and my legs to fly up out of the water - another reason for a re-dunking! suddenly i felt gentle pressure guiding me swiftly toward the water, gravity did most of the work. i had chosen not to hold my nose and i took a deep breath just before my head submerged, before i knew it i was back up! I tried to be discreet as i blew the water from my nose and took a fresh breath of air. I felt exhilerated - like every part of me was alive and tingling! I turned to everyone watching and smiled at them all, half laughing with my happiness. i followed Christiaan's lead and exited the font the same way i'd come in. Margreit was waiting there with a towel and told me to run my hands over my dress to squeeze as much water off of myself as i could before stepping into the changing room. As i did i looked behind me and saw Christiaan doing the same. We smiled at each other - it was a real moment, i felt as if we'd shared something and that smile was the acknowledgment to the amazing feat we had just achieved!

I could hear everyone singing as I got changed. I sat down and Elvira's Dad, Hans, stood up and gave an amazing talk about the Holy Ghost. It gave me chills and I was really looking forward to my Confirmation the following morning.  We then sang "Nearer My God to Thee" and then headed upstairs to mingle and eat snacks. After much socialising, we finally were kicked out of the church by two exhausted missionaries who had to lock up before they could go home to bed. In true celebratory style we headed straight for the super market and bought icecream! we gathered together in Elvira's parent's hotel room and chatted whilst we ate copious amounts of chocolate icecream and strawberry sorbet. I have no idea what time it was when Bas and I went to our room. We were chatting when Christiaan came in and joined us. We were having a really interesting conversation about different faiths and the origins of the Catholic Church. I am really looking forward to going to Institute classes and reading the many books out there - it's incredible that I have paid so little attention to my spirituality before! Finally Elvira came back from talking to her parents and Christiaan left so we could all go to sleep. Exhaustion kicked in and I was out like a light.

It felt like I had only just closed my eyes when I heard a knock at the door. Having trained myself to pop up when the alarm goes I was suddenly awake and wondering why no one was answering the door. I scrabbled across the bed and over the bags to reach the door but no one was there. i decided to go to the toilet and return to bed, waiting for Elvira's alarm to go. I had a strange dreamy nap until the others also woke up from the sounds of the other hotel guests. We decided to get up and got dressed. We took our breakfast food to the communal dining area and ate together, laughing and joking.

Soon we were at the Church. The first hour was Relief Society (women's lessons) - we had an interesting lesson on the Millenium given in French and translated into English. Next was Sunday School, however the missionaries said they wanted to use the hour to sort out paper work with me. I went to the little room with them, Elvira came too and we found Elvira's Dad there (we never found out why but it was good to have him with us). We chatted about the Holy Ghost some more, in preparation for my upcoming confirmation. Hans found a cool article which we discussed. We were really enjoying the conversation when we were suddenly whisked back down stairs as we were almost late for Sacrement Meeting.

As I sat down with Elvira, one of the other members came over and asked if we would give our testimonies. it was unusual, testimonies were usually given on the first Sunday of the month, but we both agreed. The woman who conducted the hymns gave a talk (in french, with the missionaries sitting beside me translating) on the bond between Mother and Daughter and I realised how much I wanted to talk to my Mum. I do miss her! Then I was called to sit in front of everyone. Elder Bjerga placed his hands on my head and Elder Gunter, the Ward President, Hans and Christiaan also gathered around and put there hands on my head too. Elder Bjerga began the confirmation prayer and asked for the Holy Ghost to be with me. I was struggling to take in the exact words as I was overwhelmed by the feeling on awareness in my own body. I felt happy, calm and peaceful even before the Confirmation started but as Elder Bjerga spoke I felt my neck and back feel solid, like a metal pole, growing straight. I felt strong, like I had acquired a new level of inner strength. All my nerves about giving my first testmonuy completely diminished and I knew the words would come to me. After another member gave his talk Elvira stood up and gave her testimony. She spoke about how before she had come to France she had asked for a Blessing. At the Blessing she was told that when she was in France she would give people Hope. She then told her story of meeting me, sharing the Gospel with me, and the night that I had turned to her and said she had given me Hope. It was such a special testimony that I nearly cried. As she spoke we looked directly at each other and we smiled as she finished. I stood up and hugged her as I headed to give my own testimony. I told everyone about how my parents had brought me up with no particular faith but had instead tought me to find what was right for me, to have the strength to follow my heart and to make my own decisions. I explained how I had been at university when i followed my heart and bought a horse. This lead me on a journey that ended up bringing me to France. I explained how I met Elvira and began asking her lots of questions. I told them about my experience of reading from the Book of Mormon and praying, and about the moment when I no longer needed to ask for the truth, of the peace that came over me when I Knew. I then gave my short testimony - that I know God is my Heavenly Father and loves us all, that his Son is Jesus Christ and he also loves us and sacrificed himself for us and that the Holy Ghost exhists and speaks to us through our hearts.

After the service we headed upstairs where everyone was having lunch together. I needed to get the saucepan from the rice i had brought the previous evening and so we waited until it had mostly been eaten before we said our good byes and headed to the cars. I drove Elvira and Bas back to the Plessis, following the rest of Elvira's family in their car.

We got back and I cooked everyone a roast dinner of Chicken, with potatos and parsnips - and peppers stuffed with goat cheese! It was a very good meal (if I do say so myself!) and conversaton was warm, humerous and interesting! It was a real shame when the time came for Elvira's family to leave. I felt sad that our encounter had been so brief and wondered when i'll get to see them again. They are fantastic people!

The family theme hasn't ended - my mum called and told me she's planning to visit in January! I'm very excited because it will be so good to see Mum and Dave again and show them my life here!